I have been working on this blog for two-three years. I know right. It is INREALTIME and VERY authentic. It was when I was in the midst of spiritual growth (I still am in the midst) and was resisting and honestly, very afraid. There was no one that I could talk to (GOD does this for our complete dependency on HIM) and I could not express what IT was or what IT IS for that matter. I know that I was hurting, confused, afraid and as crazy as it sounds hopeful. I have had anxiety attacks, gained weight, lost hair and sleep and “THE WORD” was irritating me. Let’s be REAL-I did not want to hear about how GOD was preparing me and how pressure on coal makes diamonds, and how the storm comes before the blessings. I was hurting, I was afraid and I wanted answers, NO, I wanted for everything to be over, I didn’t want to live in fear and have anxiety and yet, there I was-LIVING as if JESUS was DEAD (wait on the post).
So, today, the day I was blessed with my family, February 28, 1970, I am fervently working to WORSHIP and HONOR GOD for who HE IS. WORSHIP has become my true purpose and “….All these things will be added…..”. I am asking HIM to teach me how to worship and honor HIM in all areas of my life. I am not as afraid of wanting more of HIM. I fought this, Getting Closer to GOD, for I have always been “a loner”.
Tangey V. “a loner” yeah right. I know, I know I am always somewhere talking and “with” people but the people were not “with” me. It was and still is a (watch for the new word) gigormous (gigantic and enormous) pill to swallow. I don’t feel as dejected and rejected as I use to feel. I no longer try to create and become a person that people would want to be around. I no longer try to find out why they are no longer “in the number”. Quoting from the book of BB King (my cousin) “I wish them well”.
I no longer cry when I think about the call and the WORK that I MUST do. GOD WILL NOT let me cry. It is futile-me crying about something(s) that IS FINISHED; something in which the PROVISIONS have been given to complete. I MUST DO the WORK.
Paraphrasing Romans 8:35-39
“…Nothing will separate ME from the love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”
TANGEY V.
INREALTIME
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