I am OVERWHELMED at this particular moment. I mean RIGHT NOW in REAL TIME as I am typing this. I have not had a good night sleep since Wednesday night. Contrary to what many believe and think, sleepless and restless nights are not ALWAYS due to distress or stress. My sleepless and restless nights in THIS case is due to being so OVERWHELMED by the BLESSINGS of the GREAT I AM-JESUS CHRIST, MY LORD AND SAVIOR.
For the last two and a half years I have been struggling with and questioning my effectiveness and vitalness (new word) in many areas of my life: finances, relationships, ministry, work. It appeared that NOTHING I DID barely MET expectations. There was ALWAYS something that I could or should have SAID or DONE to ACTUALLY MEET EXPECTATIONS. IT (others expectations) became TOO much of a burden. Even when I MET and EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS and my CONFIDENCE increased, they CHANGED the rules.
They CHANGED the rules. They CHANGED THE RULES?!!!!! EVERYTHING they said they wanted and RECEIVED was NO LONGER wanted. I EXCEEDED THEIR EXPECTATIONS. EXCEEDED, EXCEEDED!!!!!!!!! AND THEY CHANGE THE RULES.
WITH THE RULES constantly changing then HOW can I gain confidence in particular areas so that I CAN move forward and grow and THRIVE in other areas? I stop trying to EXCEED expectations and became OVERLY STRESSED trying to JUST HOPEFULLY meet them.
HOW can we get better and do better if, according to those that we allow in our lives with clipboards, tablets, IPADS and keys, say we are BARELY meeting EXPECTATIONS? How do we MEET let alone EXCEED EXPECTATIONS when we don’t get appropriate, INDIVIDUALIZED FEEDBACK? How do we MEET let alone EXCEED EXPECTATIONS when the DESIRED OUTCOME IS NOT MODELED?
How do we MEET let alone EXCEED EXPECTATIONS when The RULES continue to CHANGE as WE GAIN CONFIDENCE? STOP TRYING TO MEET THE EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS. LIVE ACCORDING TO WHAT GOD EXPECTS EVEN IN THE MOST PAINFUL, ANXIETY INDUCING SITUATIONS/TIMES.
TRUST ME!!!! I HAVE BEEN OVERLOOKED (THEY WERE SITTING OR STANDING IN FRONT OF ME), DISMISSED AND OSTRACIZED.I HAVE BARELY BEEN “AT WORK”, “WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS”, “AT CHURCH”, “ENGAGED IN CONVERSATION”, “OUT TO DINNER”, “AT THE CLUB”, “WITH MY GIRLS”BECAUSE I MY CONFIDENCE WAS SHATTERED. THERE WERE NO SHARDS OF MY CONFIDENCE TO PICK UP. AS SOON IT WAS SHATTERED, MY CONFIDENCE WAS BROKEN DOWN TO THE PIECES THAT ONE SEES SHINING BUT CAN’T PICK UP.
BUT GOD……
…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”
Tangey V.
INREALTIME
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