As I was contemplating and asking for guidance in sharing this post, I started of thinking and was going to type: I am always grateful (for the blessings of GOD). But before I could type or complete the thought, the HOLY SPIRIT reminded me that that is NOT the case: BEING GRATEFUL and being GRATEFUL at ALL TIMES. THANK THE LORD for HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION.
I, too, like many compared myself and what I had (or lacked) with others. Whatever I had could have NO SHOULD HAVE been bigger or smaller, brighter or duller, longer and taller or shorter depending on that particular situation. I could not, no did not live my life to the fullest because I was always focused on what others were or were not doing, had or didn’t and most definitely shouldn’t have. I was fretting not only the evildoers (Psalm 37) but everyone. Why was I not being blessed? Why was I not LIVING?
Unfortunately, as with many, I had to experience hardships to appreciate the GOODNESS of the LORD. I NOW understand that it was not for punishment. If you want to KNOW the TRUTH, MY version of the TRUTH, GOD was punishing me and I DID NOT KNOW WHY. I BESEECHED HIM IN PRAYER, I CRIED OUT TO HIM LIKE LENNY WILLIAMS…OH…OH…OH.
I HAD TO FILE CHAPTER 13 (SHELBY COUNTY SCHOOLS PAY SCHEDULE CAUSED AN EXTREME HARDSHIP), I LOST FRIENDS AND THE INTENSITY OF SOME FRIENDSHIPS, TWO OF MY FAVORITE UNCLES PASSED, I CHANGED JOBS, MY CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY WERE QUESTIONED, I WAS EXCESSED FOR UNPROFESSIONALISM ((I WAS LIED ON AND THEY BELIEVED THE LIE), I HAD TO GO BACK AND WORK IN A PLACE THAT DEEMED ME UNPROFESSIONAL AND INEFFECTIVE. I CRIED BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE, I CRIED IN THE PARKING LOT AND EXPERIENCED ANXIETY SUNDAY-THURSDAY NIGHT, CRYING. I GAINED WEIGHT AND MY COUNTENANCE CHANGED.
I HAD TO BE ABOVE REPROACH. I HAD TO SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY. I HAD TO COME EARLY AND STAY LATE SO THAT NOTHING EXTRA COULD BE CHARGED AND HELD AGAINST ME. I HAD TO DO THE CHRIST THING WHEN I WAS BEING WRONGED. I HAD TO HONOR GOD.
I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND. I WANTED to EXPOSE AND PROVE THE WRONG. YET, I HAD TO HONOR GOD EVEN WHEN IT FELT LIKE HE WAS NOT LISTENING TO ME AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT ME. I HAD TO, HAD TO HONOR GOD.
Again, I have experienced hardships before, but the abovementioned events were LIFE changing. Unfortunately and FORTUNATELY, IT TOOK ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED EVENTS TO MOVE ME INTO A PLACE OF GRATEFULNESS. I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT The abovementioned events happened SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!!!!
As I cried out about WHAT was happening, the HOLY SPIRIT showed me WHAT was REALLY happening. HE made me realize how BLESSED I really am. I could not see it to appreciate it because I did not TRUST GOD. I did not TRUST that GOD LOVED me and DESIRED me. I did not and could not SEE GOD’s CONSTANT, CONSISTENT AND CONTINUOUS FAVOR in my life. I HAD GOD, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO SUPPORTED ME AND PRAYED FOR AND WITH ME. THE PRAYERS OF THE RIGHTEOUS PREVALENT MUCH.
I was TOO BUSY AND FOCUSED ON WHAT I SUPPOSEDLY LACKED, WHICH WAS NOTHING. MOST OF THE THINGS I “LACKED” I HAD NO REAL DESIRE FOR THEM. I WAS IN THE “ME TOO” AND “WHY THEM AND NOT ME” MODE. THE ABOVEMENTIONED EVENTS HAVE PRESENTED ME FAUTLESS BEFORE GOD’S PRESENCE. THOSE EVENTS ARE A REMINDER OF HIS FAITHFULNESS
I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I DON’T COMPLAIN AS MUCH. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I AM MORE APT TO WAIT FOR GOD’S GUIDANCE AND AM ACTUALLY WORKING ON WAITING FOR HIS RESPONSE. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I DON’T LINGER ON “WHO SHOT JOHN DOWN AND WHY” AS MUCH AND AS LONG AS I USE TO. I AM TRULY LEARNING HOW TO GIVE THANKS AND BE GRATEFUL FOR AND IN ALL THINGS. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT AS I CONTINUE TO LEARN HOW LOVE GOD THE WAY HE DESIRES TO BE LOVE I CAN HONESTLY AND BOLDY DECLARE THAT …….
“…Nothing will separate ME for the Love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”
Tangey V.
INREALTIME
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