It APPEARS as if there is NOTHING for me to SHARE. I haven’t SHARED ANYTHING since February 28, 2021 (ONE OF THE BEST DAYS of THE YEAR-MY BIRTHDAY). Not that I haven’t had ANYTHING to SHARE. I HAVE and HAD more than PLENTY to SHARE. I JUST HAVEN’T. I DID NOT NOT SHARE because I was being selfish and didn’t want anyone to get or have a REVELATION, be HEALED or be DELIVERED. I WASN’T SHARING because I was NUMB. I WAS NUMB due to being OVERWHELMED by LIFE during COVID-19 (HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION) and I WAS AFRAID.
COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! I was AFRAID and as a result, I was not SHARING. I did not KNOW until NOW that I was AFRAID. I thought that I was being lazy and had been conditioned to sleep after 5 am on Sunday morning. I WAS AFRAID.
REPEAT (IN THIS CASE RETYPE), it was not that I didn’t have ANYTHING to SHARE. I have plenty to SHARE, BUT FEAR. LIFE WAS AND IS HAPPENING. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE around me was CHANGING. I WAS EVEN CHANGING–IMAGINE THAT. I am accustomed to CHANGE and even WELCOME CHANGE–some I don’t like so much. I WAS AFRAID.
There were so many CRISES (Me, my family, my friends, their children, their spouses, my health, their health: MENTALLY PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY) that OCCURRED SIMULTANEOUSLY and although I WAS PRAYING AND TRUSTING GOD INREALTIME. I WAS AFRAID.
LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!! I WAS AFRAID. I was PRAYING to GOD for me and my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS), BUT I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD about WHAT I WAS THINKING AND HOW I REALLY FELT about EACH SITUATION. I WAS AFRAID.
The SITUATIONS that me and my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS) were dealing with where in the I HAD NEVER!!!! category and yet, the ISSUES, SITUATIONS AND CRISES of the ones whom I love dearly where FRONT AND CENTER. I WAS AFRAID.
The BEST and ONLY thing I COULD DO was PRAY. I was PRAYING FEVERENT PRAYERS. WHENEVER I THOUGHT about my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS) I PRAYED for them. WHENEVER I would HEAR of a SIMILAR SITUATION OF MY FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS), I WOULD PRAY AND BLESS GOD for their PERSEVERANCE, HEALING AND DELIVERANCE.
ALTHOUGH I WAS PRAYING, I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD ABOUT IT–SHARING WHAT I THOUGHT AND HOW I FELT ABOUT IT. NOT THAT IT MATTERS (THE HOLY SPIRIT HAD ALREADY INTERVENED ON MY BEHALF) AND TALKING-YES, TALKING TO GOD GIVES ME CLARITY THROUGH HIS REVELATION, HIS DIRECTIONS, HIS INSTRUCTIONS, AND THANK GOD FOR HIS CORRECTIONS.
I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD. I WAS AFRAID OF THE CHANGE. I WAS ALSO AFRAID THAT MY PRAYERS WOULD NOT BE ANSWERED IN THE MANNER THAT I DESIRED. I DIDN’T WANT TO AND COULDN’T DEAL WITH THE LOSS AND PAIN THAT CHANGE SOMETIMES BRING. I DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED–JUST LIKE PETER.
LORD, HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!!
COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT–I FELT LIKE PETER, WHOM LOVED JESUS, WANTING TO HELP JESUS AFTER HE WAS ARRESTED AND COULDN’T BECAUSE OF FEAR. Peter WITNESSED A BOLD, HEALING, WATER WALKING, DEMON CASTING OUT, MIRACLE PERFORMING, THE SON OF GOD, EMMANUEL, THE LIVING GOD, THE ONLY GOD, JESUS being TREATED as if HE was NOT GOD. Peter was OVERWHELMED because EVERYTHING was CHANGING and there was NOTHING he COULD DO about it. Peter DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED. Peter WAS AFRAID. (MATTHEW 26: 69-75)
MY NOT TALKING TO GOD is akin to Peter DENYING CHRIST. I HAVE NOT ONLY SEEN BUT HAVE EXPERIENCED THE POWER OF GOD VIA THE HOLY SPIRIT IN JESUS NAME VIA PRAYER. I KNOW THAT HE IS BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAS AND WILL CONTINUE TO HEAL, DELIVER AND MAKE FREE. YET, I DENOUNCED HIS POWERS BY NOT SEEKING HIS REVELATION, HIS DIRECTIONS AND HIS CORRECTIONS. I WAS SO STRICKEN WITH FEAR (PETER THINKING THAT THEY OVERPOWERED CHRIST AND ME THINKING THAT THE SITUATIONS WERE TOO MUCH AND TOO BIG FOR GOD) THAT I TOO DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED!!!
BLESS GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT BECAUSE THIS MORNNG AS I WAS SHARING (TYPING IN THIS CASE), HE BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE THAT PETER AFTER HIS DENIAL WOULD WIPE HIS TEARS AND BOLDLY, IN HIS APOSTLESHIP, DECLARE AS I DO....THAT
…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”
TANGEY V.
INREALTIME
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