Author: tvskinner1

This morning I am grappling with my “feelings“. Not the warm and fuzzy “feelings“ nor the “something” good is happening “feelings“. I being pulled by the “feelings“ that can and will and have led to possible mayhem, chaos, confusion and destruction.

I don’t “feel” like sharing this morning. I “feel” as if it is too early (even though I started an hour later due to logistics). I “feel“ that I have nothing to share since I am IN IT (LIFE IS HAPPENING) and I am OVERWHELMED in many areas (REPENTED THIS MORNING FOR NOT CASTING ALL MY CARES).

I don’t “feel” like talking (typing in this case). I am “feeling” overwhelmed with the whole process of conversating. You know listening, processing what you heard and responding. Lately, in the majority of my conversations, I have been CUSSPONDING (new word-when you response is laden with cuss words, yes cuss words). OVERWHELMED AND FRUSTRATED and CUSSPONDING).

Not only have I not been earnestly listening, I have been bulldozing the conversation because of my “feelings“. CUSSPRESSING (new word-when your responses and statements are laden with cuss words.) how I really “felt“ and most times I “felt” like I said nothing at all.

I dont’ and didn’t feel anything about Trump getting COVID-19. I didn’t go to the safe “I don’t wish nothing bad on nobody…but…” (YOU KNOW HOW WE DO). I made a few CUSSTAMENTS (new word-when you statements on the topic is laden with cuss words) and I still don’t “feel” anything. I could be on, NO I AM on the verge of not giving a CARE (safe word). I have informed you all of my CURRENT STATE OF EXPRESSION, CORRECTION, CUSSPRESSIONS (new word-when you respond with cuss words see CUSSPONSES AND CUSSTATMENTS).

I AM neither proud nor ashamed of how I “feel“ about anything that includes Trump. It is all part of the process of being “…Presented FAULTLESS before HIS PRESENCE…” I AM and have REPENTED on being caught up and guided by my “feelings“.

I “FEEL“, therefore I CUSSPOND (new word-when you respond with cuss words). TRUST ME, I AM NOT proud of my CURRENT STATE OF CUSSPRESSION. GOD IS NOT GLORIFIED IN THAT!!!!

I “FEEL“, therefore I CUSSPOND PROVES that I AM STILL TRYING TO OPERATE IN MY OWN STRENGTH. HAVE MERCY LORD!!!

I “FEEL“, therefore I CUSSPOND PROVES that I AM LEANING TO MY OWN UNDERSTANDING. HAVE MERCY LORD!!!!

I “FEEL“, therefore I CUSSPOND PROVES THE FAITHFULNESS, GRACEFULNESS, MERCIFULNESS OF GOD!!!!

IT IS because of GOD’S MERCIFULNESS that I don’t “FEEL” BUT KNOW that

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! Once again I have had a HOLY SPIRIT Intervention (an instant revelation of the WHAT and WHY that you are currently experiencing–MY WORD AND MY DEFINITION).  I had written  (typed) some things to share.  But, the HOLY SPIRIT WANTED me to SHARE SOMETHING ELSE. 

I recently heard a message in which the minister stated that it appears that TESTIMONIES have died among Christians.  He stated that there was a time when people COULD NOT wait to TESTIFY about the GOODNESS of the LORD.  Churches allotted time for the testimony of saints.  It was part of the WORSHIP service.  

Oftentimes, it appeared that it would be the SAME person every Sunday or every other Sunday with the SAME testimony.  I, cynically and mockingly,  (THANK GOD FOR MERCY) would think, say, or nonverbally express, “Why is he/she ALWAYS up testifying?”, “Why is he/she testifying about THAT?”, “WHY IS he/she ALWAYS UP SMILING, CRYING, DANCING AND WORKING IN CHURCH?”  They need to get somewhere and SAT DOWN.

I DISCOVERED the WHY AND CONTINUE to let the WHY GUIDE me.  The LORD REDEEMS me.  It is CONTINOUS s due to the relentless attacks from the enemy: peace, joy, health, mind, family, finances. GOD saves me FROM harm and danger and FROM myself. 

I, like many, get so caught up in WHAT I SEE and HOW I FEEL, that I soon forget about the REDEMPTIVE POWERS of GOD.  PRAISES TO GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO BRINGS TO my REMEMBRANCE-ALL THAT HE HAS DONE AND IS DOING.

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO-

LET me HAVE REAL AND PLAIN TALK ABOUT HOW THE LORD HAS/IS REDEEMING me.   I have Anxiety.  GOD has/is DELIVERING me from ANXIETY. 

When I worked at Airways Achievement Academy, I experienced anxiety DAILY.  I cried on my way to work. I stayed in my car until it was time to receive the students.  I was going to EAP counseling to assist with my anxiety.  My wonderful counselor at EAP recommended that I have more than one session due to my level of anxiety.  The administrators at Airways Achievement Academy denied my request to leave during my planning period (7TH PERIOD)-TEACHERS YOU FEEL ME!!! 

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO…

Even when I presented official documentation for counseling that would have happened during my planning period (LAST PERIOD of the day), I was denied.  I was informed by the administration that EAP worked for Shelby County Schools and surely they, EAP,  could find another way for me to get counseling.   MY anxiety levels increased exponentially.   

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO…

What was I to do? I tried to use the resources that were “available”.  I sought and received expert advice and recommendations to ensure that I could function and perform the job as a teacher.   I needed my job (and it was on the line) AND could not take off work.  I WAS DENIED.  WHAT WAS I TO DO?

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO…

STILL crying on my way to work and in my car PRIOR to entering Airways Achievement Academy, I WOULD PRAY.  I WANTED OUT of that BUILDING and OUT OF EDUCATION.  I was trying to get work in a warehouse. Seeking Forklift Driver Training.  ANYTHING AND ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY. The LORD TOLD ME NO (ANOTHER POST FOR ANOTHER TIME). 

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO…

How did I cope with the rest of the year? 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” driving to and walking toward the Airways Achievement Academy. 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” in my classroom when there were no students. 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS”  in my classroom when students were present. 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS”  at the metal detectors.

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” while escorting students to and from lunch or restrooms.

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” in the faculty meetings.

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” in the cafeteria. 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” writing lesson plans.

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS” making copies. 

I would SILENTLY CRY OUT “JESUS, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS”  because the “…the smile that I was wearing was out of place…”

IT IS THE POWER THAT IS IN JESUS‘ NAME THAT SUSTAINED AND KEPT ME AT AIRWAYS MIDDLE SCHOOL. BLESS GOD!!!! BLESS GOD!!!!

I JUST HAD A PRAISE AND WORSHIP BREAK-REMEMBERING HOW GOD KEPT ME AT  AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY.  I  HAD TO RETURN THE NEXT SCHOOL YEAR.  (ANOTHER POST AT ANOTHER TIME-WHEN GOD SAYS NO). 

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO…

I have experienced some anxiety during these Coviditicous times.  As I lie in bed, I would call out the name of JESUS, JESUS, JESUS felt the ANXIETY WORSEN as I call out the name of JESUS.  It used to scare me, but I NOW KNOW that it is due to the demons that MUST flee at HIS NAME.  

I PROUDLY JOINED THOSE WHOM I MOCKED. I  COULDN’T AND CAN’T WAIT TO SHARE MY TESTIMONY ABOUT THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD.  HE IS SO GOOD.  I HAVE TO TELL IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  GOD IS SO GOOD. 

I REALIZED THAT I HAD TO TELL IT AGAIN AND AGAIN BECAUSE HIS GOODNESS NEVER CEASES.  GLORY TO GOD!!!!  I HAD TO START OVER, AT THE BEGINNING TELLING ABOUT THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD.

I DIDN’T WANT TO FORGET AND YET I CAN’T REMEMBER THE ALL IS HAS AND IS DOING. BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD!!! GLORY TO HIS HOLY NAME!!!

I AM REDEEMED OF THE LORD AND I SAY CALL OUT HIS NAME AND WATCH THE DEMONS FLEE.  I AM REDEEMED OF THE LORD AND I SAY HE WILL KEEP AND PROTECT ME.  I AM REDEEMED OF THE LORD AND I KNOW HE SOOTHES ALL MY DOUBTS AND CALMS ALL  MY FEARS.  

I AM REDEEMED OF THE LORD AND I SAY….

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT (an instant revelation of the WHAT and WHY that you are currently experiencing–MY WORD AND MY DEFINITION)… I HAVE HAD ANOTHER HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION. JUST NOW!!!! I WAS TYPING THIS STATEMENT/QUESTION, “HAVE YOU EVER…?” (SEE THE THE NEXT PARAGRAPH) IN THE BLOG THAT IS NOT as I was thinking about HOW I try to MOVE GOD to BLESS, HEAL AND DELIVER. WHEN HE, THE HOLY SPIRIT DIRECTED ME TO SHARE SOMETHING ELSE IN REAL TIME.

HAVE YOU EVER QUOTED SCRIPTURE BACK TO GOD? NOT THE TYPICAL, “…LORD, YOU SAID IN YOUR WORD…” QUOTE. THAT IS ONE THAT I USE WHEN PRAYING WITH AND FOR OTHERS. It’s not the only one I use when PRAYING with and for others, but one I use FO’ SHO’!!!! I AM TALKING ABOUT QUOTING HIS WORD TO JUSTIFY MY DISOBEDIENCE DUE TO MY FAITHLESSNESS (FEAR) and SLOTHFULNESS. INVOKING the names of those whom HE LOVED and has a significant impact on the continuous spread of the GOSPEL.

I don’t JUST CASUALLY drop names in my prayers with GOD. I am INTENTIONAL. These INTENTIONAL prayers WHERE I INTENTIONALLY INVOKE THE NAMES OF King David, Apostle Paul AND JESUS are not SITUATIONAL they are CONDITIONAL. MY CONDITION HAS CAUSED MY SITUATIONS (WITH A S): spiritual, distancing, depression, anxiety, angst, bitterness, fear, being overwhelmed, binge eating, binge spending, hoarding, fatigue and PETTINESS!!!

WHEN I AM INTENTIONALLY INVOKING THE NAMES OF King David, Apostle Paul AND JESUS, I AM NOT SEDENTARY, SPEAKING IN A CALM VOICE. I AM NOT CONCERNED with AESTHETICS: What I am wearing and how I look. I care NOTHING ABOUT PRESENTATION.

BABEA (might be a new word-trying to express baby in ” …a around the way girl..” kind of way), I am ON MY FEET, with TEARS in my eyes, there is a QUIVERING of my voice, my shoulders SHAKING like Ms. Emma in Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Class Reunion, and the POINTING of my finger TO THE HEAVENS AS I BOLDLY SAY, “…LORD, LIKE David, I was born in sin and shaped in inquity…”. “…LORD, “…Apostle Paul stated, “…For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do…”LORD, JESUS ASKED in the Garden of Gethsemane, “...IF POSSIBLE, may THIS cup be taken away from ME…“ LORD on the CROSS, ON THE CROSS, JESUS asked, NO, CRIED out “…WHY has THY forsaking ME…?”!!!!

THIS IS WHEN I have ALLOWED the enemy (MOSTLY MYSELF) to TALK ME OUT OF DOING THE WORK: I’m tired, it’s too much, I don’t have enough, I AM not enough, I am doing this alone, I am too old; I am too fat. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO DO. I AM MORE THAN EQUIPPED AND HAVE ALL THE RESOURCES THAT I NEED. GOD DOES AND WILL SUPPLY. I JUST HAVE NOT DONE OR COMPLETED THE WORK OUT OF FEAR (TRUST THAT I AM BEING CHASTENED FOR MY FEARS AS GOD CONTINUES TO PRESENT ME FAULTLESS). GOD IS FAITHFUL AND MERCIFUL-WORHIP HIM!!!!

I AM ASSURED THAT THE ANGELS, WITH THEIR JUSTIFIED FRUSTRATION WITH MAN, ASK IN EXASPERATION “WHAT’S UP WITH ALL OF THESE THEATRICALS…?” I IMAGINE THAT THEY ARE AROUND THE THRONE OF GRACE AND MERCY AS THEY WATCH OVER ME, BENDING OVER AND SHOUTING TO ME (LIKE YOUR COUSINS DO AT THE MOVIES)“…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT GOD HAS…IS…AND WILL ALWAYS PROVIDE, KEEP AND PROTECT YOU…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT…HE IS HEALING YOU…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT…HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT…HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE YOU…DON’T YOU KNOW THAT…THE NAME OF JESUS CALMS FEARS, MAKES demons FLEE…”

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! JUST HAD ANOTHER HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION– WITH REASSURANCE, the LORD IS SAYING-IN THE KEY OF Luther V. “DON’T YOU KNOW…” (PirtleBlized OF COURSE)

You got MY LOVE (JESUS)
You need to look no further
Don’t you know that
Don’t you know that

After MY LOVE
You’ll NEVER NEED another
Don’t you know that
Don’t you know that

I don’t MAKE no PROMISES I (DON’T) keep
And I PROMISED MYSELF that I’D LOVE you FOREVER
How many times MUST I SAY that
For you to UNDERSTAND (that I AM) the REAL THING

You are my sweetest inspiration (John 3:16)
Don’t you know that
Don’t you know that

I’M ALWAYS DOWN
For ANYTHING that you say (John 14:14)
Don’t you know that
Don’t you know that

I LOVE you so, yeah
I REALLY LOVE you, don’t you know, yeah
Don’t you know that
Alright, don’t you know that

ALL PRAISES TO GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO BRINGS TO MY REMEMBRANCE -THE REASSURANCES OF GOD VIA THE BOOK OF LUTHER VANDROSS.

I DO KNOW THAT…

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

I have had a HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION (an instant revelation of the WHAT and WHY that you are currently experiencing–MY WORD AND MY DEFINITION).  I was previously discussing (typing to post in this case), a separate topic. As I was going through my phone for the title (the title of the post usually comes to me after my RAMBLINGS), I came across this title for this post. Let me ‘splain.

In a conversation with very close friends (including my sisters), the title of today’s post was declared to convince us that what we have is true. We don’t have to hide who we are and what we are dealing with. We don’t have to save face. Quoting from the book of MC BREED, “…Ain’t no Future in Yo Frontin’...”

There were times when I HID or DOWNPLAYED how I really felt or what I was going through. As an African American woman, I thought and was taught that I HAD to be STRONG. Such phrases such as “…Never let them see you sweat…” , “…take a licking and keep on ticking…”, “…what goes on in this house…stays in this house…” , “…if it don’t kill you it makes you stronger…”. EXPRESSING HOW YOU FELT WAS A NO NO. NO ONE CARED OR THEY WERE JEALOUS AND WOULD TRY TO THWART YOUR HAPPINESS. EXPRESSING pain, hurt or grieve was an EMBEDDED NO NO. DETRIMENTALLY, pain, hurt and grief would become the MUFFLED MANTRA of African American women, part of the DNA.

Toppled the MUFFLED MANTRA of African American women with the teachings of the church, NO THING and nothing, since I am a Christian, should cause me to be depressed, stressed or overwhelmed. MARTYRDOM OF AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN WAS ENSURED THROUGH THE CONSTANT AND CONSISTENT CONSECRATION AND INDOCTRINATION of “…fake it until you make…”, “…too blessed to be stressed…”, “…don’t question GOD…”, “…DON’T TALK ABOUT IT…PRAY ABOUT IT…”

My momma, Dorothy M. Jordan and mostly everyone that knows me said and will say, Tan sure can TALK. She TALKS a lot. I NOW consider that to be a compliment. For it is through TALKING with GOD AND and my maturity in CHRIST THAT NOT ONLY DO I PRAY ABOUT IT, I TALK ABOUT IT (TALK ABOUT IT AND TALK ABOUT IT)!!!!

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR PITY (KILL THAT NOISE)!!!! BUT I DETERMINED TO LIVE AN ABUNDANT LIFE (JOHN 10:10)WITH THIS POSSIBLE “…THORN IN MY FLESH…” (2 CORINTHIANS-12:7-10)!!!! MY THORN, MY STRUGGLES, MY CURRENT SITUATION, MY STRONGHOLDS, COULD POSSIBLE BE THE SHADE IN WHICH OTHERS REST IN THE GLORY OF GOD ( USE ME LORD…TO SHOW SOMEONE THE WAY…I AM AVAILABLE TO YOU...)!!!!

“…WE KNOW YOU GOT ROACHES…” IS A TRUE TESTAMENT TO authentic relationships and friendships. In other words, I don’t have to make you wait outside or in the car. You know the dish and glass was washed thoroughly before I offered you anything to eat or drink. I don’t have to mask the smell of RAID AND BLACK FLAG. I don’t have to EXPLAIN WHY IT LOOKS LIKE COFFEE OR FLOUR has WASTED IN THE CABINETS AND ON THE FLOOR. You KNOW WE ARE SITTING IN THE ROOM WHERE THERE HARDLY ARE ANY ROACHES. You KNOW TO KILL THEM IF YOU SEE THEM. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!!!

I HAVE TRUE, AUTHENTIC FRIENDS WHO WILLINGLY TO PUT AWAY THEIR PHONES, NOT CHECK SOCIAL MEDIA AND LISTEN TO ME WITHOUT JUDGEMENT BUT WITH ACCOUNTABILITY (THAT ACCOUNTABILITY MANE…WHAT???!!!!). THEY, MY FRIENDS, HAVE DECLARED, “…TANGEY V., WE KNOW YOU GOT ROACHES!!!!

ROACHES: My pain, my hurt, my grief, my struggles, my concerns, my fears, my unwillingness, , my stubborness, and my pettiness are being fumigated. I am NO LONGER ASHAMED OR EMBARASSED OF MY LIFE AND HOW I HAVE BEEN LIVING IT. I HAVE TRUE RIDE OR DIE FRIENDS. During the fumigation process, they arranged to have a safe place for me, they made me and helped me up open up so that ALL of me could get treated AND they made sure my PRIDE AND my SHAME was removed first to ensure success.

JESUS, FORMALLY and MORE ELOQUENTLY AND most definitely LESS COLLOQUIALLY THAN MY FRIENDS (“WE KNOW YOU GOT ROACHES!!!), DECLARES “…I CALL YOU FRIEND...”(JOHN 15:15-17). HE IS SO FAITHFUL AND BEGS US, TO BRING EVERYTHING TO HIM IN PRAYER.

I DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TO PRAY TO HIM, PRAISE HIM, OR WORSHIP HIM. -I DON’T HAVE TO MAKE SURE THINGS ARE IN PRISTINE ORDER PRAY TO HIM, PRAISE HIM, OR WORSHIP HIM. I DON’T HAVE TO MASK THE STENCH FROM MY SINS IN ORDER TO PRAY TO HIM, PRAISE HIM, OR WORSHIP HIM.

THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS IS IN my pain, my hurt, my grief, my struggles, my concerns, my fears, my unwillingness, my stubbornness, and my pettiness. HE IS NOT JUST MY FRIEND…HIS MY LORD AND MY SAVIOR, MY JOY, MY STRENGTH, MY ALL, MY EVERYTHING, MY PURPOSE, MY HEALER, MY PROVIDER, MY REDEEMER, MY PROTECTOR, MY DELIVERER, MY RESTORER…HE IS GOD!!!!!

AND FOR THE AFOREMENTIONED IS WHY I KNOW THAT…

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

“…Use me LORD to show someone the way…I AM AVAILABLE to YOU” that song would cause me to UGLY cry while signing it “…my storage is empty and I am AVAILABLE TO YOU…USE ME….LORD…” shoulder shaking, lip quivering, sweat on the forehead and nose UGLY cry “…USE ME LORD… I AM AVAILABLE..”

Yesterday, in preparing the message that GOD wants me to share, I went walking by the river. Walking by the river served two purposes: much needed exercise and organize my thoughts concerning the message. Typically, I would get in my car ride for a minute and “go over” the message. This would help me in writing the message when I returned home. Where I would “go over” the message again: record myself, write it down or make an outline. I realized that an outline works best for me-the recording helps fill in the gaps…speaking in the moment..”

With that being said (typed) in this case, after leaving the river, I NEEDED to get home so that I could “go over” the message again and not lose (“forget”) what had been revealed. But I had to run some errands-Walgreens (allergies-my ears just itching for scratch…), I needed and wanted some items from the grocery store. I decided that I would visit the kosher Kroger on Mendenhall (they typically have an abundance of stock-Cleveland, Union and Highland runs out frequently).

As I was passing the Poplar and Highland Kroger, I realized that I needed gas. I thought I had gas. I began to wonder what was wrong with my car (just had it repaired). I had stopped to get gas earlier during the week. It was then brought to my remembrance that and the pumps were not working at that time and I did not buy gas. I am not driving much since I am teaching from home. Anyway, I stopped to get gas at the Kroger at Poplar and Highland. I then decided for the sake of time, I needed to get home so that I could “go over” the message, that I will shop at the Kroger at Poplar and Highland.

I had my list (in my head), of items to purchase. I didn’t stick to it nor do I stick to the one that I write on paper AND I WAS HUNGRY in the grocery store, so you KNOW…” As I was approaching the self check-out line, I noticed the customer service rep and she looked familiar. I greeted her and continued to think “…mane she look familiar…” even with her mask on. She resembled one of my scholars’ mom.

She walked over to me and said “…Tangey, you don’t remember me?” She then pointed to her name tag and I looked upon her masked face and looked into her eyes and exclaimed, “…her name…” (not revealing).

As I was ringing up my items, I thought we were going to engage in some small talk “…how you doing?, where you been? You still….?, how’s the family?…when the last time you seen or talk to…? YOU KNOW HOW WE DO-Exchange numbers and not talk EVER again!!!!Not talking again would have been fine with me, especially since I needed to get home to “go over” the message. Write my outline, read some more.

However, THIS ENCOUNTER AND OUR EXCHANGE of “pleasantries” caused me to pause as I was checking out...SHE REVEALED that the last three years have been extremely hard on her…She showed the scar from her Triple bypass surgery in 2018, tears were forming in eyes when she told me of her mom’s passing in 2019 and her Inability to not “keep it together” when she mentioned her son’s death, January 1, 2020, in their home.

She has not been in her home since her son’s death. She is in counseling and stated that she didn’t think she will EVER be able to get over her son’s death. She also stated that her father is ill and if he died, she don’t think she will be able to make it.

I hugged her, YES HUGGED her, to comfort her. I told her, YOU WILL MAKE IT because YOU ARE STILL HERE. (I DON’T QUOTE SCRIPTURE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING FOR IT MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE EFFECT ON THE OUTCOME. I LISTEN AND ASK WHAT DO YOU NEED). I KNOW that you are at work and gave her my number. I told her, that I WILL CALL HER AND CHECK UP ON HER.

AS I WAS LEAVING KROGER, I BEGAN TO PRAY THAT GOD STRENGTHEN AND COMFORT HER. I THEN BEGAN TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND MOVED INTO PRAISE AND WORSHIP. I WAS HEADED HOME TO “GO OVER” THE MESSAGE.

When I returned home, I could not thoroughly “go over” the message. My encounter in Kroger was still so heavy on my heart. I cried out again and asked GOD to STRENGTHEN AND COMFORT HER.. I pushed through and was able to “go over” the message. I even wrote a few notes.

Later that evening, I called her and left a message. I was GLAD that I was able to leave a message because I still needed to “go over” the message. When she returned my call, I was “going over” the message. I decided to pick up the phone because I KNEW that it would not be long. She probably had just gotten off work and was tired and I needed to “go over” the message.

I STARTED the conversation with “going over” the message in mind. I reiterated that I “LEFT” her a message to let her know that I would be checking on her and that I meant it. I was TRYING to get off the phone so that I could “go over” the message.

She thanked me and BEGAN TALKING about her son, his life and his death. She talked about the pain of losing her son. She revealed that wonders why GOD “took” her son. He went to church every Sunday and was loved by everyone. She lamented on how she could not claim or view her son’s body at the coroner and the funeral home. She told me that she asks GOD to kiss her son and him that she loves and misses him. She talked about how she felt responsible for his death. She saw on the day of his death that he did not look good and she was concerned. Yet, according to her, she did NOTHING. HIS MOMMA DID NOT SEE THAT HER BABY WAS SICK. IF ONLY….

As she was speaking, I WAS PRAYING-ASKING GOD TO TELL AND SHOW ME WHAT TO DO AND SAY…I LISTENED!!!!

I TOLD HER THAT SHE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GRIEVE…SHE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO QUESTION...WHY? WHY? WHY? I INFORMED HER THAT JESUS ASKED “WHY? ON THE CROSS!!!!

I INFORMED HER THAT AS SHE GRIEVES GOD VIA THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL COMFORT AND STRENGTHEN HER…IT WILL TAKE TIME…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HER…

SHE IS GRIEVING….HER LOSES-LIFESTYLE DUE TO A TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY, HER MOTHER AND HER SON. IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME…

AFTER WE GOT OFF THE PHONE…”GOING OVER” the message was not plausible for me at that time. I THANKED GOD for ALLOWING ME TO BE AVAILABLE. I THANKED HIM FOR SENDING ME IN THE DIRECTION OF THE POPLAR AND HIGHLAND KROGER ON MY WAY TO THE KOSHER KROGER. I THANKED HIM FOR NEEDING GAS AND STOPPING AT THE POPLAR AND HIGHLAND LOCATION. I THANKED HIM FOR SHOPPING AND CHECKING OUT WHERE AND WHEN I DID (HER LINE).

“…USE ME LORD TO SHOW SOMEONE THE WAY…I AM AVAILABLE TO YOU…”

I THEN REALIZED THAT ALTHOUGH I SHOULD BE, I AM NOT ALWAYS AVAILABLE..TO SHARE THE WORD…TO COMFORT…TO ENCOURAGE…TO BLESS…FOR THE GLORY OF GOD. I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE AVAILABLE FOR EVERYTHING..BUT GOD“

My prayer, AFTER SHARING THE MESSAGE (PHONE CALL)-“…LORD, HOW DO I PROCEED FROM THIS MOMENT TO BE AVAILABLE TO YOU? TO SHARE THE WORD..TO COMFORT..TO ENCOURAGE..TO BLESS..EVEN TO JUST LISTEN…FOR YOUR GLORY…’

I KNOW AND TRUST THAT HE WILL FOR GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD AND FOREVER FAITHFUL AND FOR THESE REASONS I KNOW THAT…

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

In the key of Erik B. and Rakim’s”I Know You Got Soul” , “It’s been a long time since I’ve SHARED with you the LORD’S GOODNESS IN REAL TIME and that’s signed in to do…”

TODAY is the yet another first day for this blog. I have had the “intent” to SHARE the GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, MERCIFULNESS, LOVING KINDNESS of the LORD through the GOOD (GLORY to GOD), the BAD (GLORY to GOD) AND the “…YOU SHO’ IS…” UGLY…“ (GLORY TO GOD) DAILY happenings of Tangey V. IN REAL TIME.

I don’t have a plausible reason or reasons for NOT SHARING, I just didn’t. Yes, life was and IS happening and I CONTINUED AND CONTINUE to RECEIVE and EXPERIENCE the FAITHFULNESS, GOODNESS, MERCIFULNESS AND LOVING KINDNESS OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY and I was NOT SHARING it IN REAL TIME.

JUST HAD AN HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION (an instant revelation of the WHAT and WHY that you are currently experiencing–MY WORD AND MY DEFINITION), as I was thinking (typing). I STARTED LOOKING AT THE ANALYTICS ON THE BLOG AND THE LIKES ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE to see how many people read IN REAL TIME and liked it. HOLY SPIRIT, THANKS FOR THE REVELATION.

Instead of me SHARING GOD IN REAL TIME-EXPERIENCING THE JOY THAT HE IMPARTS CONSTANTLY IN MY LIFE and HOW HE CONSTANTLY REMINDS ME THAT I AM HIS, I GOT CAUGHT UP IN NUMBERS (2 SAMUEL 24 AND 1 CHRONICLES 21). HOW MANY PEOPLE READ THE BLOG? DID THEY LIKE WHAT I SHARED? DID I ENGAGE THE PEOPLE AS THEY READ? I WAS DATA DRIVEN INSTEAD OF GRATEFUL DRIVEN.

I LOVE GOD…HE DID NOT PUNISH ME AS HE DID KING DAVID IN BEING CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBERS (2 SAMUEL 24 AND 1 CHRONICLES 21).

IN REAL TIME IS ONE OF MY PRAYER CLOSETS (SEEKING TO BE ONLY IN IN HIS PRESENCE IN THE MIDST OF A CROWD).

IN REAL TIME IS AN ADD-ON TO MY WAR ROOM.

IN REAL TIME IS WHERE I STEAL AWAY AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH JESUS.

IN REAL TIME IS MY “IN THE GARDEN”.

IN REAL TIME IS AN EXTENSION OF MY PRAISE AND MY WORSHIP TO GOD.

IN REAL TIME BESEECHES YOU MY BRETHREN AND SISTEREN (NEW WORD) COME SEE A MAN…WHO HEALS, DELIVERS AND MAKES FREE!!!!

IN REAL TIME BESEECHES YOU TO COME SEE A MAN…WHO KEEPS, PROTECTS AND PROVIDES FOR YOU!!!!

IN REAL TIME BESEECHES YOU TO COME SEE A MAN…JESUS, MY LORD AND MY SAVIOR!!!!

SO, I AM SHARING AGAIN FOR I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT MAN…JESUS, REGARDLESS OF ALL I HAVE DONE AND NOT DONE (KEEPING MY WORD ON SHARING EVERY SUNDAY MORNING) HE STILL DESIRES me, JESUS STILL WANTS TO BE WITH ME AND CONTINUES CONSISTENTLY TO TELL ME THAT I AM HIS OWN!!!! “…WHAT IS MAN THAT THOU ART MINDFUL OF HIM...” (PSALM 8 AND FRED HAMMOND’S “YOU CALLED me Friend…“)

IN REAL TIME, before it was EVER revealed to me, PURPOSE is to REASSURE ME that….

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME