Author: tvskinner1

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy… Teddy Pendergrass. Don’t play, you know the song that I am referencing ”…It is used to be every time I would cry my heart out over you…I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I would just sit at home and weep….It used to be ….”

In the Tantrumization (NEW WORD?) phase of my calling- there was much BELLYACHING, SNOTTING, SCREAMING, HEAVING AND GAGGING.   I RELUCTANTLY, WITH EXTREME HESITATION, FEAR and DOUBT ACCEPTED MY CALLING.

Accepting the Call and Sharing the Call, I believed were mutually exclusive. I was careful with whom I shared it with. At least I thought. There were and still are many who doubt and question it-including myself. Seriously, I went from REALLY GOD? To ARE YOU SURE GOD? I am currently in the Alright GOD phase of my calling. I desire to KNOW HIM and HIS WAYS in 0rder to HONOR HIM IN ALL THINGS.

My desire to REALLY KNOW GOD REQUIRED ME TO GIVE IT AND I MEAN ALL OF IT TO HIM.

I tried with all earnest to PROVE to GOD, to GOD that I could handle IT, that IT was not an issue.

When my I realized that I was not “getting IT right”, when I realized that IT could not be fixed by no one BUT GOD. I reluctantly, yes, reluctantly with extreme hesitation gave IT to HIM. Not knowing that IT was what HE wanted from me all the time.

REALLY, giving IT to GOD has not been pretty, easy, comfortable and has been the cause of much of my irritation with everything and everyone and resulted in anxiety and some sleepless nights. IT has caused much weeping and gnashing of the teeth.

Now, IT, in the hands and guidance of the LORD PREPARES and STRENGTENS me for what have come: loss, Betrayal, the lost of friendship-the intimacy and intensity.

I am so NUMB-not numb from the pain; I am NUMB because I AM SO OVER IT. THERE IS MUCH WORK TO DO FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  THIS WAS JUST GOD’S WAY OF REMOVING BARRIERS TO OUR INTIMACY. THIS WAS ANOTHER WAY FOR HIM TO PRESENT ME FAULTLESS FOR I DESIRE TO NOT ONLY HONOR GOD IN WORD BUT IN DEED-HOW I LIVE, WHAT I SAY, MY EXPRESSIONS AND YES, HOW I HANDLE HURT, LOSS AND BETRAYAL.  I HAVE ALREADY CRIED. YES, I AM TALKING ABOUT- BUT THANK GOD THE DISCUSSION IS A SHORT ONE AND I AM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THAT I DID NOT CAUSE THE BETRAYAL OR LOSS.  NO ONE IS TO BLAME (LOOK AT GOD).  IT IS WHAT IT IS AND TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON.

I wanted to cry, I tried to cry, I wanted to feel sad and garner sympathy. I wanted to “get caught up in my feelings” and let my feelings guide and led me.

I HAD A PRE-CRY (NEW WORD). I HAD ALREADY CRIED OVER MY CURRENT LOSS ACTUALLY WHEN I GAVE ALL OF IT TO GOD!!!!!

Giving IT to GOD, has really MATURED me, “…IT DON”T HURT NOW…NO MORE ….heartaches NO MORE heartaches…all that IS Changed…” for JESUS CHRIST REMOVED THE PAIN.

HE LOVES me in SPITE of ME and that it is the reason that I can say with confidence and boldness……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

As I continued to hit the snooze button on this morning, contradictory to my declaration of “I will be up and ready to post IN REAL TIME @ 5:00 a.m.” I actually reset the clock to 5:30 after hitting the snooze button. As a result my 30 minutes of “just a few more minutes” was just that: a few more minutes. I spent more time “setting my clock” and “getting back in bed”. I was only delaying the inevitable-THE WORK.

As I went through my morning rituals (you KNOW), I was running on all cylinders to post IN REAL TIME. I set the mood, I put on some Fred Hammond (playlist YouTube) and the first song was “NO WEAPON” and you KNOW there was some WEEPING (GOD IS FAITHFUL) for the HOLY SPIRIT , HE reminds me of the CONTINUOUS, CONSISTENT, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD.   I retrieved my computer and attempted to sign on to the page to post. MY internet is working, but I cannot access the internet from MY computer (NO IP address). WHAT? Can’t access the internet on my personal computer, but was able to access on my work computer for work all Friday night and most of Saturday and I CAN’T ACCESS THE INTERNET ON MY OWN COMPUTER IN MY OWN HOUSE TO POST IN REAL TIME. NO, I HAVE NOT PAID MY PHONE BILL YET, BUT my television is accessing the INTERNET (YOUTUBE-FRED HAMMOND PLAYLIST).

I contemplated calling A T & T and decided against it (NOT BECAUSE OF THE NON PAYMENT) for it may take too long to trouble shoot. Yes, I could use my work issued computer, but using my computer is in itself a testament to FAITHFULNESS OF THE LORD. LET, ME ‘PLAIN, LET ME ‘PLAIN.

For almost 2 or more years, my computer screen was “bleeding” (don’t know correct term). One half of the screen was pink, hot pink. I tried to get it fixed and many stated that I should just purchase another computer. Theoretically, yes, financially, NO. COULD NOT, COULD NOT afford another computer and DID NOT, DID NOT HAVE reserved resources for ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY A COMPUTER.

I saved my work on the infamous flash drives (must know put in google docs). I posted IN REAL TIME on the computer with the “bleeding screen”. I stopped making excuses and used what was in my hand. I squinted and posted, and one day, the computer with the “issue of blood” was no longer. No more “bleeding screen” SO I MUST post from THIS COMPUTER and it DOES NOT HAS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET.

NO WEAPON AND NO EXCUSES-I AM TYPING IN REAL TIME ON THE COMPUTER, I WILL SAVE TO A FLASH DRIVE AND I WILL POST ON ANOTHER COMPUTER.   GOD ALWAYS HAS A RAM IN THE BUSH. HE ALWAYS MAKES PROVISIONS FOR HIS PEOPLE.

KNOWING THAT NO WEAPON WILL PROSPER (THERE WILL BE ATTACKS), WE MUST STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT LIVING, BEING AND DOING WHAT THE LORD DECLARED FOR OUR LIVES. EVEN WHEN WE SQUANDER THE PROVISIONS, EVEN WHEN WE CONSTANTLY QUESTION HIS FAITHFULNESS, EVEN WHEN WE ALLOW FEAR TO OVERCOME US AT TIMES, EVEN WHEN WE PACK OUR TACKLE BOXES and   GO FISHING-HE IS STILL FAITHFUL. HE IS GOD.

HE LOVES me in SPITE of ME and that it is the reason that I can say with confidence and boldness……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

I’m BACK. I want to “say” that I was on holiday and did not post anything.  That’s NOT my story and I am NOR sticking to it.  Being on holiday (Christtmas break) was and is a plausible reason to take a break. You know family, friends, peace on Earth and good will toward men.  As I type this, I am rationalizing, “GOD….. says that there is a time to rest, and created the Sabbath and HE RESTED.”  For I was truly tried.  NO TIED- T-I-E=D(my word for tired). That’s what I SAID. And it is so far AWAY from the REAL TRUTH.

FOR REAL, FOR REAL-I had overextened and over committed myself in WORKS. No, this is not “I was so busy helping others that I forgot to do something for myself..” That’s not it at all. I was TOO busy doing and being for MYSELF-not selfishly or narcissistically but really focusing on BEING and DOING what I am PURPOSED FOR.  I was doing the WORK, even the WORK that I abhor (asking GOD for ZEAL in all things for it’s for HIS GLORY).

I was WORKING SO that I  forgot to WORSHIP.  Oh, I prayed and thanked GOD, but I did not spend time, QUALITY time with HIM. You KNOW that time when YOU Can JUST BE!!! NO BIG WORDS needed or DESIRED by HIM, JUST BEING with HIM,  PURPOSEFUL and INTENTIONAL BEING WITH HIM. KNOWING how I NEED, DESIRE and WANT TO HONOR GOD IN ALL THINGS, I FORGOT TO WORSHIP. and it showed. I WAS SO busy WORKING (focusing on BEING and DOING what I am PURPOSED FOR) that I became tired and I JUSTIFIED not posting (it was during the holiday and I need a break).

I realized that I should have been WORSHIPPING WHILE  I WAS Working, WORSHIPPING WHEN I WORKING and WORSHIPPING WHERE I WAS WORKING.  Had I been WORSHIPPING, there would have not been a “NEED” for an extended holiday and I would have posted prior to this.

WORSHIP-Balances ME..  WORSHIP Directs ME.  WORSHIP Grounds ME. WORSHIP Humbles ME. WORSHIP Overwhelms ME. WORSHIP Reminds ME…….

HE LOVES me in SPITE of ME and that it is the reason that I can say with confidence and boldness……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

I HAVE BEEN BUSY-not because of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, IT IS MY SEASON. I have been in what I call “the INTANGIBLE PHASE”(“..Evidence of THINGS not seen….”) GOD IS COMMANDING that the INTANGIBLE PHASE  of HIS PROMISES for my life MANIFEST.  I AM CONSTANLY OVERWHELMED, OVERJOYED AND HUMBLED BY THE MANIFESTATIONS  OF GOD’S PROMISES FOR MY LIFE.

I am DISCOVERING that MORE is REQUIRED of me in the MANIFESTATION PHASE of GOD’S PROMISES.  I am busy worhipping to fight anxiousness, weariness and the CONSTANT RELENTLESS ATTACKS by the enemy as GOD allows my INTANGIBLES to MANIFEST. I am busy LIVING in the PROMISES OF GOD.  LIVING in the PROMISES of GOD REQUIRES me to ShONUFF TRUST GOD.

I find myself “…sitting at the king’s table…” at the “king’s INVITATION. ME, little ol’ ME, sought after by the “king” AND he,the “king”, quoting Mark Anthony from Shakespeare, “…lends me his ear…”, as we discuss “kingdom business”.  The “king”, after lending me his ear, decrees that IT, MY (GOD GIVEN) ideas and MY (GOD GIVEN) concerns, IS so and I , AM AWESTRUCK. Not because I am sitting at the “king’s” table at the “king’s” invitation, ) I AM NO LONGER IMPRESSED by people and their things for I AM BLESSED  and HAVE LESS STRESS) IT IS DUE to actually SEEING the POWER of GOD MANIFEST in MY LIFE.  I Can’t put SEEING the POWER of GOD and the Manifestation of HIS PROMISES for my life in words.  I am in it as it is constantly and continuously happening-MULTIPLE MANIFESTATIONS.

So as a result of the MANIFESTATIONS-MULTIPLE MANIFESTATIONS, as I stated (typed in a previous paragraph)-I am busy (WORSHIPPING, PRAISING, PRAYING, FASTING, WORKING, LISTENING, DISCERNING, BESEECHING) and will remain busy (WORSHIPPING, PRAISING, PRAYING, FASTING, WORKING, LISTENING, DISCERNING, BESEECHING)because ‘Tis MY Season: MY SEASON of MANIFESTATION-MULTIPLE MANIFESTATION.

GOD, SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BUT HE ALWAYS DOES, PROVE HIMSELF FAITHFUL. hE LOVES ME IN SPITE OF ME AND THIS IS HOW I CAN SAY WITH CONFIDENCE AND BOLDNESS THAT…..

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

 

 

This morning I woke singing “I Shall See HIM For Myself” a song by one of my favorite singers,John P. Kee.   I decided not to just sing the song, but to pull it up on Youtube to hear John P. Kee sing one of my favorite songs.

Listening to song, I begin to think of my Momma, Dorothy Mae Skinner Jordan. The love of my life, before the LORD called her home, she was my muse.

I remember the last time I saw my Momma in my house prior to the LORD calling her home. She had come to my NEW house  two weekends prior to Thanksgiving 2006 to teach me how to make dressing and her peach cobbler.  I remember her fussing and laughing at me because I kept washing my hands (they were getting dirty with corn meal and flour).  She then laughed heartily and stated, “You, like your Aunt Carrie spend all day in the kitchen and when you finish, you have a little of this and a taste of that…”

She then began to state that I was the way I was because of my siblings -Beverly, Don, Mary, Martha, Lee and Sharon.  She stated that they WOULD NOT “LET” Babe (Beverly’s name for me and everyone else it appears), Babyboba (my brothers’ name for me), Little Girl (Sharon’s name for me), Babysnooky (her name for me that she then GAVE to Demetrick Jr. and Montelle Jr.). She also stated that my nephews, Keith, Montelle and Demetrick were always trying to protect me and they spoiled me as well.

As this holiday season has come upon us, I am determined to BLESS the LORD for giving me my Momma, Dorothy Mae Skinner Jordan.  I miss her tremendously.  It was through my momma that I learned to LOVE the LORD AND TRUST HIM.

My Momma stopped attending church.  SHE NEVER STOPPED LOVING, BELIEVING AND TRUSTING GOD.  She, like many others had been hurt several times by the church and the last time the pain it caused was severe.  I too was hurt. I felt my Momma’s pain  and I ached because I though I had lost the love of GOD (I  was 12 years old)and I became a cynic,  I went from “…yes,  OUR GOD CAN,OUR GOD HAS and OUR  GOD WILL…” to GOD CAN, GOD HAS and GOD WILL but NOT for ME and MY family and for MY Momma.

I did not enter another church or attend any religious ceremony until I was 22-23 years old.  Church was not my thing.  There was a reverence for GOD, HE has provided for others, just NOT FOR MY FAMILY.  With the exception of my Grandmother Evelyn Jackson, Aunt Carrie, Aunt Lois, Aunt Mary, and my sister in law, EVERYONE in church were hypocrites.  I did not maliciously attack anyone’s beliefs; I just DIDN’T WANT to hear it.  GOD responsed to the prayers of others not my prayers and my families prayers.

It was not until I heard my Momma singing early in the morning aournd 3 or 4 a.m., a gospel song, “….I love the LORD…and long as I live and trouble rise…I’ll hasten to HIS throne…” AND SHE WAS CRYING.  WHAT IS SHE SINGING?, WHY IS SHE SINGING THAT? I NEVER asked her (can not get in grown folk’s business), but I KNEW that GOD was trying to get my attention.  HE KNEW that if my Momma, the LOVE of my LIFE, began to call out to and speak to and of HIM; I would follow suit. 

I became extremely angry with GOD after HE called MY MOMMA home.  I questioned WHY would HE take MY Momma.  I asked why HE didn’t dumbfound world renowned doctors and specialists with the miracle that HE SHOULD Have (that’s how I felt) that HE SHOULD HAVE performed. And the miracle SHOULD HAVE been peformed for me.  THE HOLY SPIRIT BEGAN TO MINISTER TO ME. HE REMINDED ME THAT MY MOMMA WAS GOD’S CHILD AND THAT SHE WOULD WANT TO BE IN PERFECT PEACE WITH HER GOD. THAT HE WAS HER GOD TOO AND SHE DESIRED AND LONGED TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE.  SHE LOVED ME BUT SHE LOVED GOD MORE.

IT WAS THEN WHEN I REALIZED THAT I TOO LOVED GOD MORE THAT I LOVE MY MOMMA.  IT WAS THEN THAT I LEARNED  AND I AM STILL LEARNING TO TRUST GOD. IT ALSO HOW I CAN CONTINUE TO DECLARE WITH BOLDNESS

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

 

 

Last night prior to going to bed has been like other times in my life in which I KNEW that I was to pray (I still pray on my knees before bed). Just like the other times, last night I could not think of anything to say to EXPRESS TO LORD HOW GREAT HE IS AND HOW GRATEFUL I AM (STILL NOT ENOUGH FOR WHO HE IS).  I even expressed to the LORD that IT was not that I didn’t know what to say and the order (Thanksgiving/Worshipping, Repentance, Request) in which to say it in.  I wanted to make sure that my prayers were authentic and not ritualistic (order of prayer).

I KNOW THAT I COULD HAVE SHOUTED HALLEJUAH AND IT WOULD BE PRAISE TO GOD.  BUT IT WOULD HAVE FELT RITUALISTIC. I KNOW THAT I COULD HAVE SAID THANK YOU UNTIL I HAD FALLEN TO SLEEP, BUT IT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ENOUGH AND WOULD HAVE FELT RITUALISTIC.

YES, the HOLY SPIRIT BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE OF MY MANY BLESSINGS, DELIVERANCE, STRENGTHEN, MY JOY (THE WORLD SHONUFF TRIED TO TAKE AND IT WAS WORTH EVERYTHING TO HAVE IT FILLED AGAIN) AND MY PEACE.  AND YET, NOTHING. IT FELT THAT THE PRAYER AND THE SHOUTING WOULD HAVE FELT RITUALISTIC.  I TRIED TO CONJURE UP OLD HURT AND PAIN SO THAT I COULD CRY, SHOUT AND REALLY PRAY AND THANK GOD (…WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED).. NOTHING

As THE HOLY SPIRIT continue to bring to my rememberance, HE (HOLY SPIRIT) ALSO reminding me of some hymns “….if I can’t say a word, I’ll JUST WAVE MY Hand….”

WAVING MY HAND when there are NO WORDS; WAVING MY HAND even when WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH. GOD IS SO….. ((I AM WAVING MY HANDS) THAT THE COMFORTER, THE HOLY SPIRIT,  INTERCEDES ON MY BEHALF AND EXPRESS TO GOD THE WAVING OF MY HANDS.  GLORY TO GOD. 

So if anyone sees me WAVING MY HAND, it’s conveying the GOODNESS of my HOLY, GLORIOUS, MIGHTY, WONDERFUL, DELIVERING, SUSTAINING, PROVIDING, STRENGTHEN, JOY AND PEACE GIVING AND  LIVING GOD.

HE LOVES me in SPITE of ME and that it is the reason that I can say with confidence and boldness……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

 

I predicted it-Donald Trump would be elected the president of the United States.  My prediction would come after I had listen to the Tom Joyner morning show in which a caller was “nickle and diming” reasons the millennials gave for not voting in this year’s election and not voting for either candidate: “….tried of hearing how people died for the right to vote…we want to discuss living in the wake of Blacks and others being killed by police…” ,  “…Hillary is not Bill…she can’t assume that Black people will vote for her because we voted for him…” , …I don’t think either candidate is viable….”, MY FAVORITE (I AM A RECOVERING CYNIC), “…I NOT FEELING, FEELING, FEELING…IT IS NOT EXCITING TO ME…”

Quoting from  The Color Purple, “…SPEAK LORD, SPEAK TO ME…” FOR THE ELECTION OF Donald J. Trump SPEAKS VOLUMES AND I AM LISTENING TO AND WAITING ON GOD.   I AM NOT AFRAID of the  “WHAT AND HOW” of a Donald Trump Presidency.  I WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE AND PROSPER IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.

I have and still am learning to not just “…hasting to HIS THRONE when trouble rise…” I am, with the guidance of the HOLY SPIRIT, communing with GOD on the REGULAR (not easy, HOLY SPIRIT, HE is working on me-THANK GOD). I don’t fret as MUCH (Still learning), I AM REMINDED THAT ANYTHING THAT LEADS TO A DISTRACTION AND A DISRUPTION IN MY PURPOSE IN GOD, IS FORTHCOMING AND NEVER CEASES.  In my regular (STILL NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE HE IS GOD), communion with HIM, HE reminds me of WHOSE I AM.

Yes, there will some policy changes that may impact me, my family and friends.  Yes, racism, which had not died or gone away, is front and center and expressed unapolgetically.   Maybe NOW, young people will, (unfortunately this election  is the catalyst, the pig pen, the Damascus Road for many), learn their history and seek to GOD: Maybe NOW others will repent and STOP sinning and return to GOD.

Well, it is over and it is done and the PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN (ELECTORAL COLLEGE) .  Donald J. Trump is President-Elect AND GOD IS SOVEREIGN.

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

I am beating myself for not posting consistently.  It was not as if I didn’t have anything to say(type), I am not sure what I will share when I post. I can not engage in frivolous conversation or frivolous LIVING for that matter.  I do know that what I SHARE is IN REAL TIME.  I AM BEING MINISTERED TO, CHASTISED BY, STRENGTHEN BY JESUS, MY LORD AND SAVIOR. THIS IS WHERE AND HOW  I ENCOURAGE MYSELF AND HOPEFULLY ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO WORSHIP GOD AS THEY GO THROUGH.

What is shared is inspired by GOD. It is HOW HE ministers to me IN REAL TIME.  It is not as if GOD is not speaking to me, HE IS constantly speaking and NOW I am ACTIVELY listening for I WANT and NEED CLEAR instructions.

Those of US who want to live in the perfect WILL of GOD, WANT and NEED clear instructions.  Not wanting to sound clicheist (NEW WORD),  HE IS preparing us for ALL of our desires, HE has MADE provisions for them. AGAIN, we MUST do the WORK. We MUST stop praying about it, talking about it, most definitely worrying about and DO the work.

We are experiencing, what appears to stagnation-you know when it seems to be the same ole, same ole-work-home-church-gatherings-you even get tired of eating the same food. Just wanting something else or different-stagnation.  You may begin to search for old pain, that’s been HEALED just trying to “feel” alive. But thank GOD for the HOLY SPIRIT for HE allows us to BLESS the name of the LORD-WE  were entrenched in that painful situation or situations (Mine were simultaneous)-for deliverance from those situations.

This period of same-ole, same-ole is the perfect time for us to get closer to GOD. I know it sounds clichiest(NEW WORD), but this is the time when things have slowed down enough for us to REALLY connect with GOD. This period is when HE can and reveal more of HIMSELF to us. We just have to stop trying to put things in HIS place. This is the period when HE allows us to REALLY mature in HIM. This is the period when you really began to give a less care (NEW PHRASE,  for many, but not for those in the ROUND) about how you look or being “isolated”because you just not “feeling” it anymore. THIS really is the period when “IT” is GOD desiring us to get closer. This is the period when you can ask THOSE questions (ME?WHY?REALLY?MORE?HOW?WHEN?)and clearly hear the answers and began to WAIL in most cases due to our resistance, laziness, sense of entitlement, rebellion, fear and disobedience.  THANK GOD, HE allows us to work on getting it right.  We can no longer go back to the “flesh pots”(Egyptian Captivity).

Our inability to go back to the “flesh pots” is GOD preventing us from thwarting the promises HE has for our lives.  JUST LIKE PETER ( who WALKED WITH GOD, who SAW THE POWER OF GOD, WHO DENIED JESUS., who RETURNED to fishing), we have messed up, given up, put off, avoided, “escaped” (kickin’it, starting new projects, making new friends, joining another ministry, changing hair whether it’s length, color, or texture) and made excuses for too long.  It is now time for us to prove to GOD that HE IS the LORD of our lives and that we will thrive in the places that HE placed us in and the places HE will send us (JUST LIKE PETER, whose SHADOW possessed the POWER OF GOD!!!!).

So as we declare that JESUS IS the LORD of our lives…know that the enemy is already planning his attack and HAS lost.  WE WILL prevail in the name of JESUS!!!!!

“…Nothing will separate me from the love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

It  is happening again. I am allowing my life to become cluttered.  I have become soooooooo busy with…….., soooooooobusy with…… soooooooo busy with …….that I am soooooooo…..tired. I have began to put things off again (it’s clutter because I will get to them LATER ),I have began to WAIT to do things when they should be done NOW (clutter).

The LATER, is MY way of trying to FIGURING things out-you know how I do-I am trying ENSURE that I DO, PERFORM, BE my best.  Instead of TRUSTING GOD and MOVING and TRUSTING-I ALLOWED THINGS TO BECOME CLUTTERED.

I REALIZED, NO THE HOLY SPIRIT BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE, THAT I WAS INTENTIONALLY ALLOW THINGS TO BECOME CLUTTERED (HOME, LIFE, WORK, RELATIONSHIPS) BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO AVOID THE CONVERSATION AND CONVERSION THAT COMES WITH HEARING GOD (HE DOES SPEAK TO ME IN CLUTTER).

I REALLY WAS TRYING TO AVOID, AVOID, AVOID GOD, MY LORD AND SAVIOR, THE ONE WHO KEEPS ME, WHO GROUNDS ME, THE ONE WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY (CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I WAS TRYING TO AVOID HEARING FROM GOD-THANK GOD FOR HIS MERCY AND HIS GRACE AND HIS LOVE).

The LATER, because of the CLUTTER, OVERWHELMED me, FRUSTRATED me, STRESSED me.  CLUTTER IS NOTHING BUT  FEAR and DOUBT trying to scream down the WORD that consistently and continuously remains me that “…GOD DOES NOT GIVE A  spirit of fear….”

 

THE HOLY SPIRIT, THE GREAT COMFORTER, INTERCESSORY, MY LIFE LINE TO JESUS CHRIST IS HERE.

THANK GOD that in SPITE of me that “…THY will be done…” HE LOVES me in SPITE of ME and that it is the reason that I can say with confidence and boldness……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

YOU THINK TOO MUCH

Crumb snatchers-Nope, I am not talking about children. I know that it is slang used to define and describe children. To clarify my declaration (see title), I am going to use my sister’s dog, Lady, as an example.

Lady watches the cook and anyone else who has food from the cook to the plate or platter.  Lady is waiting and anticipating for any speck, particle, morsel or CRUMB to fall so that she can SNATCH (grab and run).  Lady is a crumb snatcher.

Willing to admit so that I am no longer held captive, I ONCE LIVED AS A CRUMB SNATCHER.  LIKE MY SISTER’S DOG WHO WATCHED ANYONE WITH FOOD, I WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE BEING BLESSED AND QUESTIONED IF WAS ACTUALLY A BLESSING.  YOU KNOW HOW “WE” DO (STILL CONFESSING SO IT’S WE AND NOT “I” ):

• HOW DID HE/SHE GET THAT?
• WHAT THEY DOING WITH THAT?
• THEY DON’T NEED ALL THAT!!!!
• WE (STILL CONFESSING, SO IT’S WE AND NOT I ) EVEN QUESTIONED IF GOD BLESSED THEM AND EMPHATICALLY STATED THAT THE ENEMY BLESSES TOO.
• WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO THE BLESSING SO THAT I COULD  GRAB ANY BIT OF INFORMATION AND RUN in hopes of having what they dropped or could no longer use or no longer wanted. 

While reading  Matthew 15:21-28, where JESUS informs a Phoenician woman, “…It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”  Yes…., Lord, she said.  “Even the dogs eat the CRUMBS that fall from their master’s table.”, I began to think about ALL the time I wasted watching and questioning peoples’ lives, choices and acquisitions (their jobs, their mates, their homes, their cars..etc…).

I also realized that IT(crumb snatching) was due to my FEAR AND MY FAITHLESSNESS.

GOD, IN HIS WORD, “ASK ANYTHING IN MY NAME….,…I COME THAT YOU HAVE LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY….(NOT JUST THINGS-OUR HEALTH IS TO PROSPER AS WELL) ASSURING ME THAT HE BLESSES HIS CHILDREN.

EVEN IN READING AND STUDYING, I DID NOT HEAR, I COULD NOT HEAR BECAUSE I WAS TOO FOCUSED AND INTENT ON GRABBING AND SNATCHING THE BLESSINGS OF OTHERS.  QUESTIONING IF GOD HAD TRULY BLESSED THEM.  NOT FULLY REALIZING THAT HE WAS BLESSING ME AS WELL.  

GOD SAT THE TABLE AT CREATION “I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU…” AND I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.  I HAVE THE FULL ATTENTION OF THE HOST WHO ALSO SERVES.

GOD PREPARES THE TABLE, SET A PLACE FOR ME AT THE TABLE AND SERVES ME AT THE TABLE-BLESS THE LORD!!!!!

I AM NOT A CRUMB SNATCHER, I SIT IN MY PLACE AT THE TABLE WHERE LOVE, MERCY, GRACE, DELIVERANCE, PEACE, JOY, CONTENTMENT ALONG WITH MY DESIRES ARE BEING SERVED…THIS IS WHY I CONTINUOUSLY DECREE…

 

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME