Audios

This morning, no last night, I was THWARTING “MY SHARE”. I went to bed close to midnight, KNOWING, KNOWING, KNOWING I HAD to SHARE at 5:00 a.m. this morning. On yesterday I was thinking HOW am I going to SHARE KNOWING I MUST SHARE. I was to leave the house around 6:15 in order to get my nephew to work on time. I was thinking that I could not do it because INREALTIME is UNINTERRUPTED and IT starts Saturday afternoon/evening. I make sure that my computer is charged and my SHARE area is free of clutter: clean table, clear pathways, no dirty dishes in the sink, all items in its place. Then at 5:00 a.m. Sunday morning, I don’t eat or drink anything until I am finished SHARING. It is the time that GOD REVEALS to me what to SHARE.

I didn’t realize that a decision-minor as it IS-taking my nephew to work at 6:15 was causing me anxiety. The SHARE INREALTIME “WILL NOT” be AUTHENTIC. The SHARE INREALTIME WILL BE INTERRUPTED. I will have too many influences on my SHARE INREALTIME: our conversation on his way to work, traffic (I have Internal Road Rage), the desire of pastry from MIdtown Donuts, a nice breakfast at Bryant’s or Perkins (grits especially) or my sister’s house, random thoughts concerning family, friends, work, EVERYTHING!!!!

The SHARE area WAS NOT “clutter-free“. There are dishes in the sink, the dining table has a loaf of bread on it as well as my pastry from Midtown Donuts. There are boxes in the pathway and MY COMPUTER was not charged. I was awake at 4:30-wide awake, but I waited until 5 a.m. to get out of bed. 5:00 a.m. is the time designated to continue the PROCESS of the SHARE-INREALTIME: Complete silence as I prepare to SHARE INREALTIME. I am in a serious battle with thoughts trying to infiltrate my mind as I prepare to SHARE INREALTIME. As I am finishing my morning ablutions, I am constantly SLAYING thoughts that are trying to IMPEDE INREALTIME AUTHENTICITY, I proceed downstairs. I PRAY ASKING GOD, “WHAT AM I TO SHARE TODAY”? I then open my computer and began typing whatever comes to my mind-MY RAMBLINGS if you will. I empty my head of thoughts and from those thoughts, GOD via the HOLY SPIRIT to tells me what SHARE INREALTIME.

Yet, this morning I got fully dressed (made an effort to match or should I say COORDINATE, my soft clothes-leggings and such). I KNEW that I COULD NOT NOT SHARE because of these ADDED PRECONVEIVED NUANCES (taking my nephew to work, picking up my friend from the airport and refilling my prescriptions) to my SHARING day. I then began to compile a to-do list and INREALTIME WAS NOT on that list: take my nephew to work, pick my friend up from the airport, refill my prescription, purchase pastry-glazed twist, a sausage croissant and a cup of coffee, get some breakfast from a restaurant or go to Sharon’s for some grits (still can’t make them after she taught me), or go to Kroger and buy something to cook for breakfast, what’s for dinner, go to Walmart before the crowd.

I then began to RATIONALIZE NOT SHARING INREALTIME: It’s Fall Break, the television was on and I HAD to watch THIS episode that I have seen several times, I started too late. I will have to STOP and leave the house and take my nephew to work. Just SHARE INREALTIME next week…Fall Break, the SHARE IS INTERRUPTED!!!

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT–I AM TO WORK UNTIL WHEN. I AM to SHARE INREALTIME until I leave the house. GOD’S WORK, HIS PURPOSE CAN NEVER BE INTERRUPTED. GOD WORKS INREALTIME. TOO MANY TIMES I ALLOW NOTHING to DISTRACT me. NOTHINGS are the SITUATIONS/HAPPENSTANCES that LIFE brings AND I WASTE TOO MUCH TIME ON NOTHINGS, WORRYING ABOUT NOTHINGS, DISTRESSED AND PERPLEXED BY NOTHINGS, BEING ATTACKED BY NOTHINGS.

BLESS GOD!!!!! GLORY!!!! AS I TYPE-NOTHINGS ARE GOD’S SPECIALTIES. WORKING UNTIL WHEN– I’M DOING that NOW (typing now). I was EXPERIENCING ANXIETY for NAUGHT!!!! COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT- I can hear my MOMMA, Dorothy Mae Jordan, saying, “…YES, YES, YES SPEAK LORD, SPEAK TO ME.…”

It is BEING REVEALED that I GET CAUGHT UP in the TIMING/OCCURANCE of “THE HAVE TO DO’S” and RETREAT. I HAD TO MAKE ROOM and TIME IN MY MIND for taking my nephew to work, picking up my friend from the airport and refilling my prescription. IT WAS NOT ON MY TIMETABLE/SCHEDULE. I didn’t see it as RETREATING but as RECONN and in SOME cases PRAYED AND WAITED on GOD before DOING “THE HAVE TO DO‘S“

“THE HAVE TO DO’S” are a continuum as LIFE IS HAPPENING. MANY THINGS, SOME THINGS, AND OTHER THINGS WILL BE INCLUDED ON THE HAVE TO DO’S, BUT I TRULY KNOW THAT THINGS: MANY, SOME AND OTHERS ARE, HAVE BEEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE NOTHING TO GOD!!!!

THE NOTHINGS ARE WHY I BOLDLY DECREE THAT…

“… NOTHING WILL SEPARATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

I am sitting here staring at my computer trying to think of what to SHARE and was thinking that I must be “…DUMBER than a BOX OF ROCKS…”. Thinking of “…DUMBER….BOX OF ROCKS…” the HOLY SPIRIT brought back to MY REMEMBRANCE a PROFOUND statement “…EVEN THE ROCKS HAVE SENSE ENOUGH TO CRY OUT…” that was made during my weekly gathering with my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (remember new word-Family and Friends).

The “…EVEN THE ROCKS HAVE SENSE ENOUGH TO CRY OUT!!!!…“ AFFIRMATION, was made as my weekly gathering with my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY was ending. We, my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (remember new word-Family and Friends), were sharing LIFE’S HAPPENSTANCES and FOR REAL, FOR REAL talking about our fears, doubts, regrets, pride and ignorance in and of the situation. My SUFFERINGS if you will.

I discussed HOW I SUFFERED longer because I WAS ASHAMED TO ADMIT that I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT or HOW THE SUFFERING began. I discussed how I REFUSED to ADMIT that I was AFRAID and HOW I WOULDN’T and in MOST CASES DIDN’T ASK for help to ALLEVIATE THE SUFFERING. I, A CHRISTIAN, DARE NOT CONJURE THE THOUGHT THAT the SUFFERING WAS TOO MUCH for ME. I MEAN, JESUS SUFFERED FOR ME ON THE CROSS and didn’t say a mumbling word. Apostle Paul stated, “…that the SUFFERINGS of this PRESENT time WILL NOT COMPARE to the GLORY that will be REVEALED in US…” I was keeping my SUFFERINGS SILENT, so I thought, to HONOR GOD.

I thought I was keeping my SUFFERINGS SILENT as my body and mind RESPONDED LOUDLY AND BOLDLY through Weight Gain (stomach), high blood pressure, anxiety and depression via isolation and irritability. Where was and is the GLORY for GOD via CHRIST in an unhealthy body and mind? How can I effectively minister about the GOODNESS of GOD when I don’t want or can’t be to be around people due to anxiety? How can I effectively minister about the GOODNESS of GOD when I can barely get out of bed and can’t or don’t want to leave the home due to depression or anxiety? How can I effectively minister about the GOODNESS of GOD when it appears that the praise, prayer and preaching are too long because I am irritable, and quoting Jamie Foxx’s Wanda, “I am “ret” to go!!!!” How can I effectively minister about the GOODNESS OF GOD when my knees have stiffen and I have inflammation coursing through them because I have eaten too much sugar/carbs and gained weight due to depression. Instead of CRYING OUT LIKE THE ROCKS-I GOT SWOLLEN ‘ROUND ‘BOUT MY COLON!!!!

I told my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY that I looked forward to our weekly gatherings that allows for a safe, nonjudgmental place to share. I told them that I like to live my life as an open book. I typically share my experiences. I don’t share to garner sympathy or pity. I share so that the enemy won’t use them to keep me in bondage and TO BE DELIVERED. My sharing allows someone to testify how GOD via JESUS CHRIST delivered them from what I am going through and SURELY the SAME GOD via JESUS CHRIST WILL DELIVER ME.

COMING ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT. IF I AM NOT HIDING ANYTHING, THERE’S NOTHING TO BE EXPOSED (by the enemy).

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO!!!!

Meegan, GOD allowed you to BLESS ME when you DECLARED “…EVEN THE ROCKS HAVE SENSE ENOUGH TO CRY OUT…” I REFUSE TO BE DUMBER THAN A BOX OF ROCKS. I REFUSE TO LET THE ROCKS CRY OUT FOR ME in SUPPLICATION and MOST DEFINITELY IN PRAISE AND WORSHIP In addition to our weekly gatherings, I will most definitely…

“…have a little talk with JESUS
tell HIM all about MY troubles
HE WILL HEAR MY faintest cry and I will answer by and by
Now when I feel a little prayer wheel turning
I will know a little fire is burning
I find a little talk with JESUS MAKES it right

I may have doubts and fears my eyes be filled with tears
But JESUS IS a FRIEND WHO WATCHES day and night
Oh, I go to HIM in PRAYER, HE KNOWS MY every care
And just a little talk with JESUS MAKES IT RIGHT

I DECREE…

…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

It APPEARS as if there is NOTHING for me to SHARE. I haven’t SHARED ANYTHING since February 28, 2021 (ONE OF THE BEST DAYS of THE YEAR-MY BIRTHDAY). Not that I haven’t had ANYTHING to SHARE. I HAVE and HAD more than PLENTY to SHARE. I JUST HAVEN’T. I DID NOT NOT SHARE because I was being selfish and didn’t want anyone to get or have a REVELATION, be HEALED or be DELIVERED. I WASN’T SHARING because I was NUMB. I WAS NUMB due to being OVERWHELMED by LIFE during COVID-19 (HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION) and I WAS AFRAID.

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! I was AFRAID and as a result, I was not SHARING. I did not KNOW until NOW that I was AFRAID. I thought that I was being lazy and had been conditioned to sleep after 5 am on Sunday morning. I WAS AFRAID.

REPEAT (IN THIS CASE RETYPE), it was not that I didn’t have ANYTHING to SHARE. I have plenty to SHARE, BUT FEAR. LIFE WAS AND IS HAPPENING. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE around me was CHANGING. I WAS EVEN CHANGING–IMAGINE THAT. I am accustomed to CHANGE and even WELCOME CHANGE–some I don’t like so much. I WAS AFRAID.

There were so many CRISES (Me, my family, my friends, their children, their spouses, my health, their health: MENTALLY PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY) that OCCURRED SIMULTANEOUSLY and although I WAS PRAYING AND TRUSTING GOD INREALTIME. I WAS AFRAID.

LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!! I WAS AFRAID. I was PRAYING to GOD for me and my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS), BUT I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD about WHAT I WAS THINKING AND HOW I REALLY FELT about EACH SITUATION. I WAS AFRAID.

The SITUATIONS that me and my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS) were dealing with where in the I HAD NEVER!!!! category and yet, the ISSUES, SITUATIONS AND CRISES of the ones whom I love dearly where FRONT AND CENTER. I WAS AFRAID.

The BEST and ONLY thing I COULD DO was PRAY. I was PRAYING FEVERENT PRAYERS. WHENEVER I THOUGHT about my FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS) I PRAYED for them. WHENEVER I would HEAR of a SIMILAR SITUATION OF MY FRAMILENDS/FRAMILY (NEW WORDS-FAMILY AND FRIENDS), I WOULD PRAY AND BLESS GOD for their PERSEVERANCE, HEALING AND DELIVERANCE.

ALTHOUGH I WAS PRAYING, I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD ABOUT IT–SHARING WHAT I THOUGHT AND HOW I FELT ABOUT IT. NOT THAT IT MATTERS (THE HOLY SPIRIT HAD ALREADY INTERVENED ON MY BEHALF) AND TALKING-YES, TALKING TO GOD GIVES ME CLARITY THROUGH HIS REVELATION, HIS DIRECTIONS, HIS INSTRUCTIONS, AND THANK GOD FOR HIS CORRECTIONS.

I WAS NOT TALKING TO GOD. I WAS AFRAID OF THE CHANGE. I WAS ALSO AFRAID THAT MY PRAYERS WOULD NOT BE ANSWERED IN THE MANNER THAT I DESIRED. I DIDN’T WANT TO AND COULDN’T DEAL WITH THE LOSS AND PAIN THAT CHANGE SOMETIMES BRING. I DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED–JUST LIKE PETER.

LORD, HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!!

COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT–I FELT LIKE PETER, WHOM LOVED JESUS, WANTING TO HELP JESUS AFTER HE WAS ARRESTED AND COULDN’T BECAUSE OF FEAR. Peter WITNESSED A BOLD, HEALING, WATER WALKING, DEMON CASTING OUT, MIRACLE PERFORMING, THE SON OF GOD, EMMANUEL, THE LIVING GOD, THE ONLY GOD, JESUS being TREATED as if HE was NOT GOD. Peter was OVERWHELMED because EVERYTHING was CHANGING and there was NOTHING he COULD DO about it. Peter DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED. Peter WAS AFRAID. (MATTHEW 26: 69-75)

MY NOT TALKING TO GOD is akin to Peter DENYING CHRIST. I HAVE NOT ONLY SEEN BUT HAVE EXPERIENCED THE POWER OF GOD VIA THE HOLY SPIRIT IN JESUS NAME VIA PRAYER. I KNOW THAT HE IS BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAS AND WILL CONTINUE TO HEAL, DELIVER AND MAKE FREE. YET, I DENOUNCED HIS POWERS BY NOT SEEKING HIS REVELATION, HIS DIRECTIONS AND HIS CORRECTIONS. I WAS SO STRICKEN WITH FEAR (PETER THINKING THAT THEY OVERPOWERED CHRIST AND ME THINKING THAT THE SITUATIONS WERE TOO MUCH AND TOO BIG FOR GOD) THAT I TOO DENIED CHRIST AND CRIED!!!

BLESS GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT BECAUSE THIS MORNNG AS I WAS SHARING (TYPING IN THIS CASE), HE BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE THAT PETER AFTER HIS DENIAL WOULD WIPE HIS TEARS AND BOLDLY, IN HIS APOSTLESHIP, DECLARE AS I DO....THAT

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

On Friday, February 26, 2021, Delvin “Champ” Adair, Jr. celebrated his precious 6 years on Earth. I BLESSED THE LORD!!!! He wanted a pajama party where we were going to eat shrimp but had wings instead. I was invited and was elated to be there. I love me some “Champ“. It is not because his birthdate is in the BEST MONTH, FEBRUARY and that he was born two days, (February 26th) before my birthdate WHICH IS TODAY, FEBRUARY 28TH. Champ, through his precociousness (in all things), PROVED that GOD LOVES HIM some me.

I will not rehash the story of HOW Champ not only PROVED the LOVE of GOD for me but HOW GOD REVEALED AND MANIFESTED HIMSELF through Champ. WRONG!!!! WRONG!!!!,WRONG!!!! COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! I was in a lot of pain and very scared about HOW my life would turn out-losing my job (Airways Achievement Academy) and as a result lose my home while under bankruptcy. JEHOVAH-JIREH

The LORD via Champ GAVE me HIS PEACE. As I would watch Champ sleep without a care or concern, the LORD would say to me, just as you are watching Champ, I AM and ALWAYS have been watching you. “…²⁶ Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?…” (Matthew 6.26, KJV). JEHOVAH-SHALOM

The LORD via Champ PROVED HIS PROTECTION of me. As Champ began to become more mobile-twisting, crawling and LORD–Walking. He had to be watched FOR REAL, FOR REAL!!!! Champ was trying to CLIMB THE STAIRS and he could barely crawl. When he began to walk-barely walking-he did not want you holding his hand. I remember it was only a FEW days after Champ learned to “walk” on his own. He was TRYING to CLIMB THE STAIRS!!!!

Although he had the “ABILITY” to walk. He had NOT DEVELOPED ENOUGH to CLIMB THE STAIRS. I remember having to rush over to bring him back from the stairs (of course Champ resisted because he was ABLE to walk and KNEW that he could CLIMB THE STAIRS). Everyone, I mean everyone was put on notice to “WATCH” Champ. Doors were closed (he tried to open) so that he could not access stairs, protective gates (he tried to remove) were placed in front of the stairs and a lot of calories were burnt.

What I KNEW that Champ didn’t was that he had not developed enough to “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. His legs were not strong or long enough. He did not know that there were some things on the stairs that could cause him harm (shoes, books, exercise euipment). Even if he had gotten to the top of the stairs, it would put Champ in peril: Bedrooms with various and varied items, bathroom toilet, bathtub, the descend from the stairs.

I NOW THANK GOD that HE TOLD me NO!!!! Just Like Champ, I was moving toward dangerous situations that would have caused me harm and death!!!! BUT GOD!!!!. Like Champ, I didn’t stop trying to “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT-SOMETHING wouldn’t LET me “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. Like Champ, I would not only get close to the STAIRS, I would have ALREADY stepped on the FIRST STAIR and just like Champ, I would not be PERMITTED to “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. I’M IN POSITION TO “CLIMB THE STAIRS” and JUST like Champ, SOMEONE (THE HOLY SPIRIT) would PICK ME UP and SAY with the UTMOST CARE, CONCERN AND POSSIBLE FRUSTRATION, “DON’T GO UP THOSE STAIRS”. Just like Champ, I WOULD CRY because I couldn’t “ClIMB THE STAIRS“. Just as I was PROTECTING Champ, the LORD was PROTECTING me. “…⁹ Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; ¹⁰ There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. ¹¹ For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy way…” JEHOVAH SABAOTH 

LOOK AT THE HOLY SPIRIT.

I think that much of my frustrations and being overwhelmed is that I am trying to “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. I AM STILL DEVELOPING IN SELF-CARE AND IT IS “MORE THAN OKAY TO SAY NO AREAS of my life. Eventhough or Although (you figure it out, I’m on a roll with my thoughts), I have decreed that I am taking care of myself and NOT going to be concerned with UNFINISHED projects, assignments, chores, etc... I am still trying to “CLIMB THE STAIRS” and get these things done AND THE HOLY SPIRIT via forgetting passwords, computers crashing, little to no energy is PICKING ME UP AND WON’T ALLOW ME TO “CLIMB THE STAIRS” . I, LIKE CHAMP, HAVE BEEN RESISTING AND THROWING TANTRUMS AND THE LORD IS PROTECTING ME FROM DANGERS SEEN AND UNSEEN. THE IMPACT ON MY HEALTH THAT EFFECTS EVERYTHING, MOST DEFINITELY HIS GLORY AS HE PROSPERS ME.

UNLIKE CHAMP (HE WAS A BABY) , I WILL STOP TRYING TO “CLIMB THE STAIRS“. I KNOW THAT WHEN I HAVE DEVELOPED PROPERLY THE LORD WILL REMOVE ALL BARRIERS (BABY GATES) AND I WILL NOT ONLY BE ABLE TO “CLIMB THE STAIRS“, I WILL BE ABLE TO THRIVE “UPSTAIRS” VIA MY HEALTH: SPIRITUAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL AND FINANCIAL.

LORD THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVELATION AND MANIFESTATION THROUGH CHAMP.

THIS IS WHY I BOLDLY DECLARE…..

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

There is a lot to share this morning. However, what to share is the question in which I do not have an answer. Life IS SHONUFF HAPPENING. TALK ABOUT INREALTIME. There is so much that is going on that I don’t know what to handle, tackle, address, deal with, get over, work on, or ignore first. I know that I have NOT being praying about it like I should.

WHAT??-NOT PRAYING ABOUT-WHO DOES THAT? WHO GOES THROUGH LIFE DEALING WITH ALL KINDS OF ISSUES AND SITUATIONS AND NOT PRAY ABOUT IT? WHO TRIES TO WORK THINGS OUT ON THEIR OWN (“…LEAN NOT TO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING…)? WHO CONTINUES TO LOSE SLEEP OVER DECISIONS THAT MUST BE MADE? WHO CONTINUES TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN AND/OR FAMILY? WHO CONTINUES TO WORRY ABOUT FINANCES? WHO CONTINUES TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR HEALTH? WHO CONTINUES TO THINK THAT GOD HAS NOT AND WILL NOT DELIVER YOU? HEAL YOU, PROVIDE FOR YOU, PROTECT YOU, LOVE YOU, BE FAITHFUL TOWARD YOU, EXTEND HIS GRACE TO YOU, DISPENSE HIS FAVOR TO YOU AND BE MERCIFUL TOWARDS YOU? WHO DOES THAT?

BEING HONEST, IT IS I SAID (TYPED IN THIS CASE), THE CHRISTIAN WHO KNOWS THAT GOD DOES AND WILL TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN. IT IS I, WHO KNOWS THAT IF I CALL HIS NAME (IT WORKS), MY ANXIETIES SUBSIDES, IT IS I WHO TRULY KNOWS THAT GOD IS HEALING, DELIVERING, PROTECTING, PROVIDING, FAITHFUL, GRACEFUL, FULL OF FAVOR AND WORSHIP HIM FOR HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL, GRACEFUL AND MERCIFUL AND EXTENDS HIS FAVOR TO HIS PEOPLE.

I was teaching from home and it is a BLESSING and it is also EXTREMELY overwhelming. A blessing because many people still are not working and overwhelming due to work/life balance and the work required to provide quality instruction online. In addition to writing lesson plans for both synchronous (teacher lead) and asynchronous (recorded lessons by teacher), I was dealing hackers and slackers while trying to teach myself and my scholars how to navigate the various learning platforms.

Grading issues with missing and incomplete work, calling and responding to parents correspondence about their scholar’s attendance and grades continuously WAS CAUSING ANXIETY. Calling parents AGAIN concerning their scholar’s attendance and grades continuously ADDED MORE STRES AND ANXIETY. Directives from administration concerning lesson plans, instruction, attendance and grades were constant (ALL IN A DAY’S WORK).

I was so overwhelmed that I COULD NOT remember how to “TEACH” (still questioning my effectiveness). I was so overwhelmed that I COULD NOT write a lesson plan. We have a slide deck that must be created weekly for daily instruction. It has a template with INSTRUCTIONS. THEY WERE DIFFICULT TO COMPLETE BECAUSE I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS ASKING.

I HAVE DONE SEVERAL SLIDE DECKS SINCE AUGUST 3, 2020 (FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL FOR ME) AND HAD DONE OKAY WITH THEM. One week, I WENT BLANK. I COULD NOT THINK. I TRIED TO USE MY PREVIOUS SLIDE DECKS AS A GUIDE. IT DID NOT WORK. I COULD NOT PROCESS. MY MIND WENT BLANK. I HELD MY HEAD IN MY HAND AND STARED AT THE MONITOR, THEN I CLOSED MY EYES. THERE WERE NO THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND. IT WAS BLANK. BLANK. I WAS AND STILL AM OVERWHELMED.

ALTHOUGH I AM OVERWHELMED, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I’M NOT GON’ DO!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP SEEKING GOD!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP PRAISING GOD!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP WORSHIPPING GOD!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP HONORING HIM WITH MY LIFE (WORDS AND DEEDS)!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP GLORIFYING GOD!!!!

I AM NOT GON’ STOP TRUSTING GOD!!!!

WHAT I’M NOT GON’ DO IS FORGET TO DECLARE THAT

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

I am fighting this morning. Fighting to “be blank“. There so many things (thoughts) that are jockeying for a place in my consciousness and are competing for the top spot or first place if you will. Of course the thoughts that are NOT RELEVANT to ANYTHING and are NOTHING are in the lead. They are the the thoughts that conjure up self-doubt, self-pity, fear, worry, and pettiness. The NOTHING then becomes SOMETHING and impacts EVERYTHING-I become irritable, then angry, left uncheck bitter and disengaged or NUMB.

I THEN began to RETRIEVE from the “I AM SO OVER THAT” pile and WASTE EVEN MORE TIME AND ENERGY ON NOTHING (HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION–DESTROY THE PILE-PLACE WHAT’S IN THE PILE ON THE ALTAR-OH WHAT GRIEFS WE BEAR….WE DON’T TAKE EVERYTHING TO GOD IN PRAYER!!!!). FEELING TIRED and DEFEATED, I lift my hands up and offer GOD PRAISE????

I imagine GOD looking around (You KNOW HOW we DO when something surreal is happening and we wonder, is it JUST ME that see…heard…) and asking AND EXCLAIMING, “…WHAT IN MY WORLDS?!!!!…” . The ANGELS are ROLL-READY (ready to defend). JUST Say the WORD and IT IS FINISHED!!!!–THEY STAY READY!!!!

I imagine GOD’S head, cocked to the side with that RAISED EYEBROW, quoting and paraphrasing The Color Purple by ASKING, “…WHO DISS BELIEVER?…” I can see the ALL of THE HEAVENS clamoring to see and READY TO CORRECT WHATEVER that is CAUSING YHWH to EXCLAIM, “WHAT IN MY WORLDS?” The ANGELS are ROLL-READY (ready to defend). JUST Say the WORD and IT IS FINISHED!!!!-THEY STAY READY!!!!

I imagine ALL of the Clouds of Witnesses gathering to see “…WHO DISS BELIEVER?!!!!…” PRAYING in the PRESENCE of YHWH that HE HAS mercy on WHOMEVER that’s “offering” HIM PRAISE????, for they KNOW of HIS FAITHFULNESS. For YHWH has EXCLAIMED, “...WHO DISS BELIEVER?!!!!…” IF GOD DOESN’T RECOGNIZE THE BELIEVER…then the Witnesses can not properly WITNESS. The ANGELS are ROLL-READY-THEY STAY READY!!!!

I can imagine JESUS PRAYING, SITTING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF GOD-PRAYING AND DECLARING–WHOMEVER THIS IS-IS MINE!!!!! The ANGELS are ROLL-READY. THEY STAY READY!!!!

WORSHIP BREAK-GOD IS SO GOOD-EVEN WHEN I’M AM NOT ME-DOING WHATEVER AND THINKING WHATEVER, NOT GIVING GOD WHAT HE DESERVES AND DESIRES-JESUS DECLARES THAT I AM HIS-“…THESE ARE THEY THAT HAVE BEEN WASHED IN THE BLOOD…” BLESS GOD!!!!

I can imagine the ANGELS positioning themselves for WHATEVER!!!! I liken ANGELS and THEIR relationship and actions WITH and FOR GOD to my relationship with certain people in my life: my niece Dottie, my nephews Keith and Montelle Sr., Montelle Jr., Demetrick Jr., my brother Don, my cousin Lee Andrew Jackson, my Uncle Fred, my aunt Mary Anderson-Jackson, my cousin Kimbolee Jackson-Rome, my cousin Terrance Jackson, Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, Mrs. Pirtle, Gabriel and Regina Harris, Mrs. Green, Karla Hankins, and Mr. Jones. When they give the cue (upset and cussing), I take action-no questions asked-I’m swinging, kicking, pulling hair (wigs and weaves-both men and women), pulling shirts over heads, dragging, installing tire tracks on body parts—you name it. I am ROLL-READY.

Sharon, Beverly, Demetrick Sr., Meegan, Arneisha and Sybil, I HAVE BEEN cued and WE ARE ROLLING for ya’ll are WAY PAST READY!!!!! IT HAS FINISHED OR IT IS BEING FINISHED!!!!

I can imagine the, The HOLY SPIRIT, “BOOTS on the Ground…” (an upcoming post), CONFERENCING with JESUS, ALSO PRAYING to YHWH on WHOMEVER’S behalf as HE, THE HOLY SPIRIT, begins an EXTREME MAKEOVER for WHOMEVER.

I KNOW that the HOLY SPIRIT brings to WHOMEVER’S remembrance of WHOSE they are.

I KNOW that the HOLY SPIRIT ministers to WHOMEVER so that the question, “…WHO DISS BELIEVER?!!!!...” IS ANSWERED.

I, Tangey V. Skinner, am the BELIEVER WHOM THE QUESTION IS ASKED. I am that BELIEVER who has allowed circumstances dictate my moods and feelings. COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT-HE has revealed that I am “blank” most of the time is due to fear. I am not allowing anything “NEW” in. So if nothing goes in, then NOTHING comes out. I watching old tv shows again and again.

During Bible Study and Sunday School, I am “listening” but not really. I hear bits and pieces, but I am not going to my living room (one of my prayer closets where I ask GOD for clarity of the WORD that I have received).

I am not watching TD Jakes, Ron Carpenter or Steven Furtick like I use to-Thursday, Friday nights and Saturday morning until noon. When I do “make” time, I am doing something else “while” listening.

This has caused GOD to ask (HAVE MERCY LORD), “…WHO DISS BELIEVER?!!!!…” As with Adam, GOD is ASKING, “…Tangey V. where are THOU?…” (YOU KNOW I LOVE THE KING JAMES VERSION). TRUTHFULLY I answered, HERE I AM!!!! LORD, I KNOW NOW WHY YOU ASKED “…WHO DISS BELIEVER?!!!!…” The reason you can’t see me LORD is because I AGAIN was cloaking myself in my hurt, pain, fear, doubt, worry and shame.

Yet, unlike Adam, I have not clothed myself due to my sins. THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME OF THE DAILY DOSE OF BRAND NEW MERCIES AND THAT The BLOOD of JESUS allows me to be NAKED and UNASHAMED as I confess and repent, “…LORD it is I, Tangey V., that has sinned and come short of YOUR GLORY…”

LORD FORGIVE ME FOR MAKING YOU COME AND LOOK FOR ME.

LORD FORGIVE ME FOR IGNORING YOUR CALLS (CERTAIN ACTIONS TO TAKE OR NOT, PHONE CALLS TO MAKE).

LORD FORGIVE ME FOR CAUSING THE HEAVENS (YOU LOVE YOU SOME ME) TO PROVE YOUR LOVE FOR ME-AGAIN!!!!-

WORSHIP BREAK“…WHAT IS MAN THAT THOU IS MINDFUL OF…?!!!!!

BLESS GOD!!!! BLESS GOD!!!!BLESS GOD!!!!BLESS GOD!!!!BLESS GOD!!!!BLESS GOD!!!!BLESS GOD!!!!

BLESS GOD!!!! THAT I AM THE BELIEVER WHO IS READY TO HEAR YOUR WORD, LISTEN TO YOUR WORD, BELIEVE YOUR WORD, KNOW YOUR WORD, TRUST YOUR WORD, APPLY YOUR WORD AND LIVE ACCORDING TO YOUR WORD-FOR YOUR GLORY.

I AM THE BELIEVER WHO TRUST GOD AND DECLARES WITH ALL THAT IS IN ME.

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V.

INREALTIME

I woke up this morning with NOTHING to share. I was a blank slate. I had nothing running through my mind, because of information overload. Just not allowing thoughts to come because it would be a flood gate of thoughts and will add to my anxiety (I am returning to the school building tomorrow). So I have been trying NOT to think and it is working. It is beginning to scare me somewhat because when I say NOTHING-I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I think it is one of my coping skills for stress and anxiety. I have NOT BEEN thinking since March 2020.

So this morning as I am preparing to share, I AM a BLANK slate. Since I am sharing about the GOODNESS of the LORD, surely the BLANK slate is perfection. It should allow the LORD to just POUR into me what HE wants me to share. But NO!!!! As I am trying NOT to think about anything, I am NOT thinking about the GOODNESS of the LORD either. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with it being 5 am on a Sunday morning.

I TRULY BELIEVE AND KNOW that if there IS NOTHING to say, just “wave your hand”. In other words, PRAISE AND BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD IN WORSHIP. So I thought that I was to share a previous post (you know copy and paste and be done sharing this morning). BUT NO!!!!

I then thought about sharing an excerpt from a message that my Pastor Regina Harris had written concerning JESUS PRAYING in the Garden of Gethsemane and how HE had become angry with the “Treacherous Three”-Peter, James and John. I began to look for the copy that I had so that I could quote her properly. However, as I began to go through papers in my cabinet (I HAVE NEVER LOOKED for MATERIAL TO SHARE), I came across some documents in the BLACK folder that took me to a very dark place in my life: Airways Achievement Academy.

Those documents where from the time that I taught at Airways Achievement Academy. My first year teaching in an alternative school. I was not effective at all. I struggled and questioned my ability to teach. I wanted out of education. Seeing and reading those documents was PAINFUL. No disrespect to those who experience PTSD, but seeing and reading those documents caused me to GO BACK to the day when they changed the restroom procedure and a young lady got “jumped” in the restroom. It was the day before some students jumped on a young lady in my classroom (first fight ever in my classroom in 5 years). It was the week that scholars, in an alternative setting, wrote statements stating that I allowed the girls to fight. (Typing this is causing me to well up-GOD IS SO GOOD-HE DELIVERED ME). I MUST share). It was the same week that I had gotten written up for derelict of professional duties. They stated that I ALLOWED scholars to fight (I just deleted some details of the fight for WHAT happened is not IMPORTANT, BUT WHAT HAPPENED IS-I WILL EXPLAIN AS I CONTINUE TO SHARE-BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD).

I READ THE LETTER. I READ THE WRITE-UP AND I REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION-THE PERSON WHO WROTE MY UP STATED THAT HE DID NOT AGREE WITH THE WRITE-UP, BUT HE HAD TO DO HIS JOB. (CRYING NOW FOR GOD’S FAVOR-I KNEW THAT HE HAD NO CHOICE AND I PRAYED FOR HIM AS I SIGNED THE WRITE UP). Matthew 5:44- But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; I was HURTING so that I did not realize that I was APPLYING AND LIVING the WORD INREALTIME!!!!

I READ THE EMAIL IN WHICH THE PRINCIPAL INFORMED ME THAT I WAS NOT ELECTED TO RETURN. IN OTHER WORDS, THE PRINCIPAL WAS TRYING TO GET MY LICENSE REVOKED FOR ONE BAD WEEK IN AN ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL IN MARCH (END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR). I REREAD THE LETTER FROM HUMAN RESOURCES STATING THAT THEY COULD NOT FIND ANYTHING IN MY FILE TO WARRANT FIRING. MY EVALUATIONS WERE GOOD. I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW HUMAN RESOURCES DID NOT CALL ME IN TO GET MY SIDE OF THE STORY. AFTER VIEWING MY FILES, THE DECISION FOR ME TO RETURN TO AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY KEPT ME IN LIMBO FROM MAY-JUNE. (BLESS GOD-I BONDED WITH THE CHAMP THAT SUMMER AND THROUGH CHAMP-THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME THAT I WAS PROTECTED-NO WORRIES). BLESS THE LORD WITH ME!!!!!!!

I READ THE EMAIL DENYING ME ACCESS TO DISTRICT SPONSORED AND ENCOURAGED COUNSELING THAT WAS RECOMMENDED BY THE COUNSELING SERVICE-EAP. I WAS TOLD THAT I COULD NOT GO. I HAD A 7TH PERIOD PLANNING (TEACHERS YOU KNOW). THE LORD KEPT ME!!!! BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!!!

AS I WAS EXPERIENCING THE PAIN OF AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY-I WAS HURTING AND I AM TEARING UP (BLESS GOD FOR DELIVERANCE) NOW THINKING OF IT AS I SHARE. BUT I AM SO GLAD THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME THAT IT WAS GOD WHO KEPT ME IN ALL OF THAT HURT. IT WAS THROUGH MY EXPERIENCES AT AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY THAT I WAS DRAWN CLOSER TO HIM. I AM NOT MY OWN!!!!!

MY PAIN AND HURT AT AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY GAVE BIRTH TO INREALTIME. IT WAS WHEN I BEGIN TO REALLY CRY OUT JESUS AND APPLY SCRIPTURE TO MY SITUATIONS. AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY IS WHERE IS SAW THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT OVER demonic spirits.

EVERY MORNING, EVERY MORNING I WOULD ANOINT THE HALLWAY, STAIRWELLS, MY CLASSROOM, THE ENTRANCE TO THE CLASSROOM, BLACKBOARD, WHITE BOARD, EVERY CORNER AND EVERY DESK IN CLASSROOM. EVERYDAY SOME SCHOLARS WOULD ALWAYS ACT UP AT THE STAIRWELL. IT TOOK US FOREVER TO GO UP THE STAIRS . THEY WOULD ACT OUT IN THE HALLWAYS ON THEIR WAY TO MY CLASS. THERE WERE MANY DAYS WHEN THEY “COULD NOT GO IN MY CLASSROOM. MANY WOULD BEGAN TO FIGHT EACH OTHER AND HAVE TO GO TO THE OFFICE, MANY ASKED TO WORK IN ANOTHER TEACHER’S CLASSROOM. GOD BEGAN TO SHOW HIMSELF STRONG INREALTIME.

ALTHOUGH I CAN STILL TELL RECOUNT WHAT HAPPENED, WHY IT HAPPENED, WHEN IT HAPPENED, WHERE IT HAPPENED AND HOW IT HAPPENED AND IT STILL HURTS IF I FOCUS ON IT. I AM NOT. I AM FOCUSED ON GOD AND HIS STRENGTH THAT KEPT AND DELIVERED ME!!!!

THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME THAT IF NOT FOR THE PAIN I EXPERIENCED AT AIRWAYS ACHIEVEMENT ACADEMY I WOULD NOT HAVE THE PLEASURE OF SEEING HIM INREALTIME. KNOWING THAT HE IS REAL!!!!

I HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE USED TO INFLICT PAIN (GOD ALLOWED IT), AND Tangey V. NEEDED and WANTED AND DESIRED to hear them say, “Ms. Skinner, we were wrong“.

I NEEDED and WANTED AND DESIRED to hear them say,to hear them say, “Ms. Skinner, we KNOW we DIDN’T support you.

I NEEDED and WANTED AND DESIRED to hear them say, “Ms. Skinner, we will rescind and remove that written reprimand from your file.“

I NEEDED and WANTED AND DESIRED to hear them say, “Ms. Skinner, we apologize for trying to “KILL” you and have your license revoked, by recommending that you don’t return to education.”

I WANTED my vindication to be in front of any and everyone who had vilified me, witnessed or heard about any of the aforementioned incidents. I even WANTED to be vindicated in front of those who had ONLY seen the paperwork. I NEEDED AND DESERVED – NO WAS DUE AN APOLOGY. I NEEDED to be Repaired.

Well….didn’t happened the way I wanted, thought I needed or desired. GOD IS funny and amazing that way.

I HAD TO HONOR GOD as I WORKED through the PAIN and HURT. I STILL HAD PERSONAL AND FAMILY OBLIGATIONS.

I HAD TO HONOR GOD BY SHOWING UP FOR WORK EVERYDAY AND DOING MY JOB.

I HAD TO HONOR GOD BY WORKING AND DEALING WITH ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO HURT ME BY QUESTIONING MY INTEGRITY. FIRST WRITE UP EVER AND THEN TAKE MY LICENSE.

I WAS HURTING-WOUNDED AND I STILL HAD TO HONOR GOD IN IT.

IT DOES NOT HONOR GOD WHEN I AM HURTING AND REFUSE TO GO AND FACE (IN HIS NAME AND HIS STRENGTH) THE CAUSE OF YOUR PAIN AND HURT. (I WAS RARELY ABSENT).

IT DOES NOT HONOR GOD WHEN I WANT TO BE RESTORED AND VINDICATED JUST TO PROVE THAT I WAS WRONGED. (BECAUSE OF WHO GOD IS, THEY KNOW ME). I KNOW–GOD IS WORKING ON THEM THROUGH ME. GOD IS USING ME AND IT STILL HURTS EVEN MORE SO. (I STARTED A BEFORE SCHOOL PRAYER GROUP).

IT DOES NOT HONOR GOD WHEN I AM DISENGAGED FROM AND DISCONTINUE ACTIVITIES THAT I LOVE AND ENJOY BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED PAIN AND THE HURT IN THOSE ACTIVITIES. (I AM STRENGTHEN EVERY TIME, EVENTHOUGH I MAY CRY SOMETIMES. I BLESS GOD FOR HIS STRENGTH AND MY DELIVERANCE).

So, those papers-the written reprimand, the emails from the principal, the letter from Human Resources are all in a BLACK folder. I am going to transfer them to a PURPLE folder. HOLY GHOST Intervention (an instant revelation of the WHAT and WHY that you are currently experiencing–MY WORD AND MY DEFINITION)

The Black folder represented that dark place, my FEAST of the TABERNACLES-WHERE GOD HAS DELIVERED ME FROM to the PURPLE FOLDER-I AM REPAIRED, I HAVE BEEN RECONCILED TO MY PURPOSE AND REVIVED IN WORKING AND PROGRESSING TO HONOR GOD IN HIS PURPOSE FOR MY LIFE-HIS GLORY!!!!!

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

I was singing that song last night as I was either beginning my prayer or finishing my prayer. I can’t remember. But, I do KNOW that I song a snippet of it last night. Now that I am typing, I know it was before and after my prayer.

I had called to check up on Mrs. Pirtle (fooling with Mrs. Pirtle-that title and topic coming to the blog one day). She informed (INFORMED) me that I would be SHARING the WORD today 12/20/2020. The format, context, and purpose are important and they are not my focus INREALTIME.

The focus is that I was INFORMED that I would be SHARING the WORD. I COULDN’T SAY NO. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH “…ALWAYS HAVE A WORD...” I was SO EXHAUSTED from working AND yesterday’s errands, that I COULDN’T, COULDN’T–ARE YOU READING THIS?(SAME AS ARE YOU HEARING ME? COULDN’T SAY NO. It is not a full message, it’s for 7 minutes. I TRIED TO SAY NO. I STATED that I have some errands and plans for today. I COULDN’T SAY what they are, but I know in my current robotic, check off duties list, my errands and tasks will be completed TODAY.

After our brief conversation and it was brief. I begin to sing “…Make it like it was…” by Regina Belle. There was a time that I would have had a WORD to SHARE. In my daily (new use for the word). I would have had several conversations with the LORD. I would have had talks with family and friends. I would have listened to several messages from other ministers. In my conversations and observations, the LORD would have SPOKEN AND CONFIRMED HIS MESSAGE to SHARE.

“….MAKE IT LIKE IT WAS...” is what I begin to sing.

Everyday WE used to slip away to talk (PRAYER, FASTING, PRAISE AND WORSHIP)
WE would talk about the goodness of YOUR heart
Now it seems a myth that never exists at all
And it leaves me feeling empty
With this hollow call

Make it like it was
The way it used to be
When I HUNGERED for YOUR LOVE (SEEK THE LORD WHILE HE MAY BE FOUND)
Constantly
Make it like it was
It was easier for me
I know YOU’RE able
To make it like it was

At a certain time YOU would find me on my knees
Asking YOU to supply all my brothers’ needs
NOW it seems the needs are a secondary thing (TOO BUSY)
And it truly makes me wonder
What’s really happening (…the enemy…..KILL…STEAL and DESTROY...)

Now when I compare there’s really no comparing (YOU ARE GOD ALONE!!!!)
I just want it the way it used to be (HOLY SPIRIT, HELP ME TO HEAR GOD)
Just the thought of living without YOUR LOVE (IF THOU WITHDRAW THYSELF FROM THEE…)
Makes me ASK that YOU make it like it was (RENEW THE RIGHT SPIRIT IN ME)

LORD, I AM ASKING THE HOLY SPIRIT, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, TO TEACH AND TO SHOW ME HOW TO GET BACK TO YOU WHERE I HEAR YOU. THANK YOU, LORD, FOR ALLOWING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO TEACH AND SHOW ME HOW TO NOT WORK WHEN I AM TO WORSHIP. IN THE NAME OF JESUS.

KNOWING THAT MY PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED, I AM ASSURED THAT….

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

As I sit here thinking (typing in this case), COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!! I don’t know what to share this morning because I have NOT been sharing with GOD. TRUST, I KNOW that HE IS ALL to me: JOY, PEACE, COMFORTER, LOVER OF MY SOUL, FRIEND, PROVIDER, PROTECTOR-YOU NAME IT!!!!

I AM STILL STRUGGLING with “…FAITH WITHOUT WORKS…” OR “…LEANING TO MY OWN UNDERSTANDING.…” EVERY NIGHT, I PRAY before I go to bed. I still KNEEL beside the bed to PRAY. It doesn’t matter WHERE I am. No matter how LATE it is or how TIRED I am. I WILL PRAY on MY KNEES before I go to bed. I EASE DOWN and SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY get back up.

THE order of PRAYER–GIVE GOD PRAISES-HONOR AND WORSHIP HIM, REPENT AND MAKE YOUR REQUESTS KNOWN. “GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!!….“

GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!! GLORY, TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!! GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!! is what I continued to repeat over and over again as I PRAYED the other night. My DESIRE and INTENT IS, ALWAYS GIVE GOD HIS GLORY EACH and EVERY time I PRAY. THANK GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!! I WAS to and YES I have been DECLARING GLORY to the name of GOD and it has been BRIEF. THANK GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT THAT INTERCEDES ON MY BEHALF.

I was FOLLOWING the order of PRAYER and was CHASTENED by the HOLY SPIRIT . I HAD PROFANED “…GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!!” IN THE MIDST of the PRAYER, because of ITS DELIVERY, I was THINKING of EVERYTHING that NEEDED or SHOULD be done in ORDER to FINISH. I WAS IN the PLACE TO CAST MY CARES AND UNLOAD MY BURDENS. I WAS PRAYING!!!!????????

I have been USING SOUND BITES when PRAYING. SOUND BITES is defined as a brief catchy comment or saying. My PRAYER/PRAISE “GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!!” HAD (LORD HAVE MERCY) BECOME A SOUNDBITE. IT SOUNDS GOOD AND IT IS IMPERSONAL.

MY PRAYER/PRAISE/WORSHIP IS DUE TO THE NECESSITY OF MY DESIRE TO HONOR GOD IN ALL THINGS. NOW IT APPEARS THAT PRAYER/PRAISE/WORSHIP IS FOR EXPEDITENCY–MARKING MY LIFELINE (GOD ALMIGHTY) OFF A LIST OF THINGS THAT DON’T MATTER AND WOULDN’T BE IF NOT FOR GOD.

FORGIVE ME LORD, I HAVE ALLOWED THAT LIST TO BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE GOD WHO ALLOWS ME TO KNOW THAT THERE IS A LIST AND THE SKILLS, ABILITY, KNOWLEDGE TO WORK THE LIST.

Quoting and Paraphrasing the Mighty O’Jays, “….Your Body is here BEFORE ME….AND YOUR WORSHIP IS AN AFFRONT TO ME….!!!! MY PRAYER AND PRAISE that night, “…GLORY TO YOUR NAME, GOD!!!!...” WAS SUCH AN AFFRONT TO GOD ALMIGHTY THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT INTERCEDED IMMEDIATELY. I STOPPED “GIVING” GOD HIS GLORY. I THANKED GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT. I ASKED GOD AND THANKED HIM FOR HIS MERCY AND REPENTED.

After I REPENTED for UTTERING SOUNDBITES, I RESISTED the attack of the enemy (the THOUGHTS that tried to infiltrate my mind after my repentance-even DURING my repentance) : Should I still be praying? What should I pray for or say? Should I call my sister? Will I finish my work? What’s for dinner? What should I clean first? Should I order from Amazon or go to store? What am I going to do with my hair? Why? What? When? Where? How? Who? (…RESIST THE devil AND he WILL FLEE...”).

After I REPENTED for UTTERING SOUNDBITES, I RESISTED the attack of the enemy (the THOUGHTS that tried to infiltrate my mind after my repentance-even DURING my repentance). (…RESIST THE devil AND he WILL FLEE...”). I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THE ATTACK of the enemy WAS RELENTLESS!!!!!!!

I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

After I REPENTED for UTTERING SOUNDBITES, I RESISTED the attack of the enemy (the THOUGHTS that tried to infiltrate my mind after my repentance-even DURING my repentance). (…RESIST THE devil AND he WILL FLEE...”). I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THE ATTACK of the enemy WAS RELENTLESS!!!!!!!

I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

After I REPENTED for UTTERING SOUNDBITES, I RESISTED the attack of the enemy (the THOUGHTS that tried to infiltrate my mind after my repentance-even DURING my repentance). (…RESIST THE devil AND he WILL FLEE...”). I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THE ATTACK of the enemy WAS RELENTLESS!!!!!!!

I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I DESIRED TO BE IN GOD’S PRESENCE!!!! I SAID NOTHING. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THE HOLY SPIRIT WAS PRAYING AND CONTINUES WITHOUT CEASING, TO PRAY FOR ME!!!!

My PRAYERS TO GOD, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, INTERCEDED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT IS WHY I BOLDLY DECLARE THAT….

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

WHEW!!!!, OOH WEE!!!! SHU!!!!SHU!!!! SHU!!!! (Meegan you know) and WHAT THE KFCU? (YES, I WENT THERE AND I AM STILL THERE, INREALTIME ) are the expressions stated, implied and declared this past week. Things keep changing and the changes continue to impact, without my consent and input, my BEING.

In the words of Martin Payne, “…HOLD UP!!!!, HOLD UP!!!!“, I am becoming, NO, I AM TIRED OF FEELING, DISCUSSING, EXPRESSING MY CURRENT STATE OF BEING OVERWHELMED!!!! (COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT!!!!), I know and I believe that I SHOULD SAY OUT LOUD HOW I REALLY AM AND SHARE WITH OTHERS (TESTIFY) because THEY TOO may be struggling with or have been delivered. They can either be ENCOURAGED to ENDURE or I WILL RECEIVE WORD for DELIVERANCE.

My CONSTANT AND CONSISTENT “CONFESSION” OR “STATEMENT OF FACTS“, I AM OVERWHELMED makes it appear as if I am COMPLAINING or LAZY or not STRONG or SMART enough. My CONSTANT and CONSISTENT “CONFESSIONS” AND “STATEMENT OF FACTS” also QUESTIONS my “WOMANHOOD” and HUMANITY. The INDEPENDENT, STRONG, BLACK WOMAN is a conundrum, SOCIETIALLY. The word INDEPENDENT paired with WOMAN as with STRONG and BLACK IS a juxtaposition (BIG WORDS, EARLY SUNDAY MORNING). WOMEN were/are to be DEPENDENT on men and WEAKER than men. HISTORICALLY, BLACK people were deemed SUBHUMAN. So SOCIETALLY, BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT WOMEN because they are CULTURALLY INDEPENDENT AND STRONG. “…THE LORD REBUKES THEE…IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!” (COME ON THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT). I AM DEPENDENT ON THE LORD AND HE IS MY STRENGTH.

As I am sharing this post about how I AM TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT BEING OVERWHELMED, the enemy, who IS DEFEATED, was TRYING TO THROW SHADE and make me feel some kinda way ESPECIALLY in these times with a DIVISIVE LEADER who didn’t start the flame of racism but he continues to stoke it and I quote myself, “SOCIETALLY…BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT WOMEN because they are CULTURALLY INDEPENDENT and STRONG…”

WHAT the enemy continues to forget is THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT CAST SHADOWS on his feeble attempts to KILL, STEAL and DESTROY GOD’S PEOPLE even through our subconscious thoughts “…As a man thinketh so is he… “ (Proverbs 23:7). MANE WHAT?!!!!

MANE, WHAT? IS an African American Memphian’s expression of TRUE FACTS AND FEELINGS (YES, I TYPED TRUE FACTS and MANE, WHAT? IS NOT MY WORD, BUT MY DEFINITION).

AS I WAS TYPING the third paragraph, I BEGAN to slip into a FUNK, ” I AM NOT GOOD OR SMART ENOUGH“. MANE, WHAT?!!!!

AS I WAS TYPING the third paragraph, I began to think that MY LIFE HAS NO IMPACT OR VALIDITY FOR GOD’S GLORY. MANE, WHAT?!!!!

AS I WAS TYPING the last of the third paragraph, the HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME OF WHOSE I AM!!!! MANE WHAT?!!!!

AS I WAS TYPING the last of the third paragraph, I BOLDLY AND WITH AUTHORITY REBUKED the enemy IN JESUS’ NAME!!!! MANE, WHAT?!!!!

AS I WAS TYPING the fourth paragraph, THE HOLY SPIRIT TO REMINDED ME THAT IF I “…RESIST the devil…he WILL FLEE..” MANE, WHAT?!!!!

AS I WAS TYPING the fourth paragraph, THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME “…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things...”

MANE, WHAT?!!!!

SO I THINK AND KNOW THAT THIS COMING WEEK WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST WEEKS I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME. MANE, WHAT?!!!!

I THINK AND KNOW THAT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE HEALED, HEALTHY AND WHOLE IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!! MANE, WHAT?!!!!

I THINK AND KNOW THAT GOD LOVES ME IN SPITE OF ME. HE KNOWS ME. MANE, WHAT?!!!!

GOD IS WORKING ME!!!! MANE, WHAT?!!!!

GOD IS STRETCHING ME!!!! MANE, WHAT?!!!!

GOD IS PRESENTING ME FAULTLESS BEFORE HIS PRESENCE!!!!

MANE, WHAT?!!!!

QUOTING FRED HAMMOND

Falling apart and tearing at the seams
Tribulation lends a hand and SQUEEZES all your hopes, your dreams
You say you retreat, you say you just can’t win
Before you let your circumstance tell you how the story ends

HIS WORD says you can stand
HE’LL COVER you with HIS GRACE
Everything you need is in your hand
So lift up your head and say

ALL things are WORKING for me even things I CAN’T see
YOUR WAYS are so beyond me
But YOU said that YOU would let IT be for MY GOOD
So I’ll REST and just BELIEVE

I know you THINK you’ve got it BAD RIGHT now
But let me say I know that feeling well
To MAKE good plans for life
And then WATCH them take a downward spin

Let me encourage you while I encourage me
HE sees the RAGING rain and wind
But HE’LL SPEAK PEACE and IT will come to an END

The TRUTH is HE CANNOT LIE
I’M in HIS hands and I’M on HIS mind
HE PROMISED me HE’D ALWAYS be there
So by FAITH, HE will answer my prayer

...Many days and nights I cried
Because I felt let down, let down, let down
But I won’t always receive good, I know (GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD)
But a PRAISE in my heart will remain, oh

So with tears in our eyes
KNOW SOMETIMES IT WILL GET ROUGHER
But say, LORD, I love YOU more
And that is enough to know

ALL things are WORKING for me even things I CAN’T see
YOUR WAYS are so beyond me
But YOU said that YOU would let IT be for MY GOOD
So I’ll REST and just BELIEVE

MANE, WHAT?!!!! IS WHY AND HOW I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE THAT

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME