Audios

As I am typing, I don’t know what to share.  I have written down several nuggets that I have heard throughout the week from various and varied sources: conversations with friends, listening to my scholars and their questions, sermons, movies, television shows commercials and MY OWN THOUGHTS.  I have also been observing people and situations. Yet, I do not know what to share.

Yes, life did and is happening as I type and GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, there have been and are some situations that cause me to IMMEDIATELY STOP, LIFT (MY HEAD AND HANDS) AND WORSHIP: my family, my friends, my health, my weariness, my anxieties, my fear, my finances.    I know I should have given it to HIM initially, but, (quoting Smoky from Friday)”…You know how we do…” I was STILL fixing and solving and carrying the weight of everyone’s cares and concerns.  I was overwhelmed and HAD to GIVE IT, ALL OF IT to the LORD.

Since I have been actively GIVING IT, ALL OF IT TO THE LORD, there’s this uncanny stillness and quietness that surrounds me.  I can’t explain it and I AM NOT AFRAID OF IT ANYMORE. I have limited to no contact with people.  Many of my relationships are in transition.  I NOW understand why they are in transition and I don’t cry as MUCH or as LONG or as HARD.  I AM LEARNING TO TRUST ONLY GOD AND WHEN IT APPEARS THAT HE IS FAR AWAY AND DOES NOT CARE, THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDS ME TO:

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-ELOHIM!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-YAHWEH!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-ABBA!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-EL ELYON!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-EL ROI!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-EL SHADDAI!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-JEHOVAH JIREH!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-JEHOVAH NISSI!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-JEHOVAH RAPHA!!!

STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP-JEHOVAH SHALOM!!!

I STOP, LIFT AND WORSHIP BECAUSE…

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

THIS MORNING I did not wake up joyous.  As a matter of fact, I tossed and turned most if not all of the night.  I was bombarded with WHAT IFS and WHEN THIS.  I WAS WORRYING and it spilled over into THIS MORNING.  THIS MORNING. I WAS PLAYING AND REHEARSING HOW I WAS GOING TO ADDRESS AND DEAL WITH THE WHAT IFS AND WHEN THIS that I allowed to disturb my rest and attack my peace.

What if my job….when this president….what if my friends….when this promotion…what if my test or exam….when this treatment….what if I can’t….when this situation….what if and when this.  These are just a sampling of the WHAT IFS AND WHEN THIS  I was grappling with last night and THIS MORNING.  THIS MORNING. 

THIS MORNING and last night, I did not hear the birds singing.  Throughout the night and into the morning, the birds sing loudly, sounding like car alarms.  Yet, I did not hear them.  The WHAT IFS AND WHEN THIS was my focus.  THIS MORNING.

As I am typing this post, it dawned on me that THIS MORNING COMMEMORATES THE RESURRECTION OF MY LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST.  I am not saying (typing in this case) that I DID NOT KNOW THAT IT IS RESURRECTION/EASTER SUNDAY. I went to our Easter program rehearsal yesterday, I purchased outfits for my two great-nephews (Demetrick and Kameroun).   The WHAT IFS AND WHEN THIS WAS MY FOCUS.

I just now opened my door to listen for the birds.  They are singing AND were singing last night and throughout the night.  I could not hear the birds singing praises because I was focused on the WHAT IFS and WHEN THIS and as I type the NOW WHAT? THIS MORNING.

THIS MORNING, I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN UP REJOICING BECAUSE HE LIVES.

THIS MORNING, I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN UP REJOICING BECAUSE HE REPLACED MY WHAT IFS AND WHEN THIS AND NOW WHAT? WITH SURELY!!!!!!

SURELY HE LOVES ME!!!!

SURELY HE IS FAITHFUL TOWARDS ME!!!!

SURELY HE IS MERCIFUL TOWARDS ME!!!!

SURELY HE EXTENDS HIS GRACE TOWARDS ME!!!!

SURELY HE PROTECTS ME!!!!!

SURELY HE PROVIDES FOR ME!!!!

SURELY!!!!

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

On my way to see Madagascar, the musical, at Circuit Playhouse, one of my jams (grape please) was playing on the radio. Yes, I still listen to music on the radio in the age of downloads. As I was typing (same as SAYING anyway), one of my jams, Tevin Campbell’s, I’m Ready, was playing and I was (you know how we do) singing with the volume up, I was swaying from side to side.  I was vibing as I was singing along with Tevin and sounding just like if not better (you know we all sound and sing exactly like the person whose song we are singing).

Most times when I am sharing IN REAL TIME, the topic, main idea or claim (TNREADY PRACTICE IS REAL) comes after I have rambled on the keys (as I am typing).  NOT THIS MORNING because I was signing “…for YOUR GLORY…” and “…Just to be CLOSE to YOU…” and I bowed my head in REVERENCE TO THE ALMIGHTY and simply said GLORY!!!!!

Thinking about everything that is pulling on me spiritually, physically, mentally, socially and financially and the fact that I am STILL here, GLORY!!!!! What I am dealing with is not new or different.  It is just my time/season to deal with, handle, and let go of some things and some people.  This time is not as frightening as the last time/season.  I have grown since the last season.  I am fully aware that GOD is getting HIS GLORY in all of this.  I AM SO OVERWHELMED for I know that the “…GLORY will be revealed in US…”

I don’t want my weariness and perceived lack of ability and resources to prevent me from HONORING GOD in ALL things. Especially NOW with everything that is going on and the enemy is relentless in his attacks.  Just this week, no YESTERDAY, he, the enemy kept bringing up old stuff.  He brought up things from my past that truly hurt me and shattered me UNTIL THE LORD PICKED UP THE PIECES OF MY SHATTEREDNESS AND PEACED (NEW WORD AND IT’S A VERB!!!) ME TOGETHER. GLORY!!!!!

The enemy brought up OLD FRIENDSHIPS THAT DISSOLVED, PAST CRUSHES OR LOVE INTEREST THAT NEVER WAS,  MISSED OPPORTUNITIES, MISTREATMENT BY OTHERS, ABANDONMENT BY SOME AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS.  Of course, I began to “deal with all of that all over again AND FEEL THE PAIN AND HURT OF ALL OF IT AGAIN!!!!”.  Yes, I remembered the WHO,  the WHAT, the WHY, the HOW and the WHERE was my SPIRIT!!!!  AS I AM TYPING THIS, I REMEMBER IN MOST OF MY EXPERIENCES I DID NOT GET CLOSURE. GLORY!!!!!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT OR WHY IT HAPPENED, BUT IT HAPPENED AND I WAS HURT AND the enemy, he STAY (leave me alone Grammarly, it’s colloquialism) on his job, kept it coming. In my car, in my dreams, in my home, at work:  OLD FRIENDSHIPS THAT DISSOLVED, PAST CRUSHES OR LOVE INTEREST THAT NEVER WAS,  MISSED OPPORTUNITIES, MISTREATMENT BY OTHERS, ABANDONMENT BY SOME AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS. GLORY!!!!!

I am learning to seek GOD in ALL THINGS.  I BEGIN TO ASK, WHY IS ALL OF THIS COMING UP?  ARE THESE UNRESOLVED AND SHOULD I BE DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN PRAYING.  DID I WRONG ANYONE AND HOW SHOULD I MAKE IT RIGHT?  IN OTHER WORDS, Thank GOD for the HOLY SPIRIT, I ASKED THE LORD TO SEARCH ME FOR I WANT TO HONOR HIM IN ALL THINGS. GLORY!!!!!

THANK GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!! IT WAS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY WHEN HE REVEALED TO ME THE ONSLAUGHT OF THE HURT AND PAIN FROM THE PAST IS SO THAT I CAN NOT ONLY FEEL BUT THINK THAT I WAS UNWORTHY, INEPT,  AND NOT ABLE AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE INTO GOD’S PROMISES FOR MY LIFE. GOD IS GOING TO GET HIS GLORY AND NOW (RESISTED FOR A LONG TIME) I AM A WILLING VESSEL. GLORY!!!!!

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WOULD ALLOW THE HURT AND PAIN STOP ME.  I WOULD BE IN THAT “…I CAN NEVER DO OR GET ANYTHING RIGHT…” WHY BOTHER?, IT WON’T MATTER.   IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME FOLKS  “I GUESS THIS WILL DO.” SO…..I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE F-BOMB (AND ITS PLURAL) TO GIVE (KEEPING IT 1OOGRAND). GLORY!!!!!

I WOULD STILL GO TO CHURCH, BIBLE STUDY AND BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF GOD.  BUT, FORGIVE ME, LORD, BEGIN TO BELIEVE THAT HIS PROMISES WERE FOR EVERYONE AND ANYONE BUT JUST NOT ME.  I WORSHIPPED AND PRAISED GOD WITH OTHERS FOR THEIR HEALING, THEIR PROTECTION, THEIR PROSPERITY, THEIR PROVISIONS AND THEIR DELIVERANCES AS I WAS BOUND TIGHTLY WITH UNWORTHINESS BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES I MADE AND THE SITUATIONS I FOUND MYSELF IN:  OLD FRIENDSHIPS THAT DISSOLVED, PAST CRUSHES OR LOVE INTEREST THAT NEVER WAS,  MISSED OPPORTUNITIES, MISTREATMENT BY OTHERS, ABANDONMENT BY SOME AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS. GLORY!!!!!

GLORY!!!!! I KNOW NOW THAT ALL IS FORGIVEN.  I HAVE A CLEAN SLATE “…BRAND NEW MERCIES…”  I HAVE LEARNED AND STILL AM LEARNING KNOW NOW TO RESIST (no arguing, reasoning or explaining, proving a point or proving that I was right)t the enemy.   I DECLARE ON A REGULAR “…THE LORD REBUKES THEE!!!!!!…” AND TO THE THE TUNE OF MAYA ANGELOU’S, STILL, I RISE:

STILL, I GLORIFY (A WORK IN PROGRESS)

DOES MY WORSHIP OF GOD ALMIGHTY OFFEND YOU…

you, enemy, are doomed for I AM LEARNING  how to withstand SPIRITUAL warfare

and NOT BE CONSUMED…”

I GLORIFY!!!!! (THE LORD)

I GLORIFY!!!!!  (THE LORD)

I GLORIFY!!!!! (THE LORD)

BLESS THE LORD BECAUSE I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! THAT

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

Today’s title is borrowed from the PRAISE and WORSHIP of a person I know (I can’t remember her name).  She and I attended First Baptist-Broad where when the HOLY SPIRIT would speak to her whether it was during the call to WORSHIP, devotion, PRAISE and WORSHIP, during the WORD being brought forth, She would declare I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! 

I NOW KNOW what she meant AND WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!  For the past several weeks, I have been living and life is happening.  And as life is happening and unlike many, I honestly, truly without shame admit that I am overwhelmed.  My admission of being overwhelmed is not to garner sympathy.  I am most definitely not sending out invitations for a pity-party (If I wanted one, HE WILL NOT allow me to have one.  In the words of Anita Baker “…NO MORE TEARS…”).

Many times I did not verbally state that I was overwhelmed, but those who know me could see it.  I knew AND KNOW it. My temperament has changed (working on that as I type), my attention to detail changed, my zeal for certain things waned.  IN THE LAST SEVERAL WEEKS, I HAVE BEEN PRAYING, BUT I DID NOT AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO PRAY FOR.  I HAD ALREADY GIVEN ALL AND I DO MEAN ALL OF MY CONCERNS OVER TO THE LORD.  I ASKED HIM TO SEARCH ME AND FIND AND REMOVE ANY AND ALL THINGS THAT WAS PREVENTING ME FROM BEING FAULTLESS IN HIS PRESENCE (QUOTING THE JACKSON FIVE “…GOTTA BE THERE….)   I DID NOT THINK AND I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT I AM BEING PUNISHED.  I AM LEARNING THAT THE ENEMY ATTACKS AS WE GET CLOSER TO OUR PROMISES.  I DID NOT ASK HIM TO MAKE ANY OF WHAT I AM DEALING WITH TO GO AWAY OR STOP.  I ASKED HIM TO TEACH AND SHOW ME HOW TO GLORIFY HIM IN MY OVERWHELMNESS (NEW WORD).

LET the record show and reflect that I AM OVERWHELMED, BUT NOT DISCOURAGED OR DISMAYED.  QUOTING my sister in CHRIST (from First Baptist-Broad) AND MOST DEFINITELY DECLARING AND DECREEING, I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!

I KNOW THAT JESUS CARES!!!!! I KNOW THAT JESUS WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME!!!!! I KNOW THAT JESUS IS CARRYING ME!!!!! I KNOW THAT GOD’S GLORY IS AND WILL BE REVEALED IN ME AND MY FAMILY!!!!! I KNOW THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT INTERCEDES ON MY BEHALF!!!!! I KNOW THAT I MUST HONOR GOD IN EVERYTHING AND ESPECIALLY IN MY OVERWHELMNESS (Philippians 1:6- “…Being CONFIDENT of this very thing, that HE which hath BEGUN A GOOD WORK in you WILL PERFORM it until the day of JESUS CHRIST...”)!!!!!AGAIN, QUOTING Apostle Paul AND my sister IN CHRIST from First Baptist-Broad “I KNOW!!!!!!  I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!

BLESS THE LORD BECAUSE I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I KNOW!!!!! THAT

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

As I type this there is a song that MUST be sanged, yes I typed sanged!!!!!  and I MEAN SANGED!!!! It is Fred Hammond’s “Praise HIM through the Night”.  The lyrics that are on constant PLAYBACK are “…The wicked one Whose FURY runs with ANGER deep, DESTRUCTION is his ONLY GOAL against our side. With hatred strong, He DEMANDS we DECLARE DEFEAT. He says he’s won But we all KNOW that he’s a LIE...”  In fact, he is the father of ALL LIES and how do you deal with a liar? CALL him out..YOU’SA LIE!!!!!

I AM CURRENTLY LEARNING THAT YOU DON”T AND SHOULDN’T DEAL WITH, PUT UP WITH, REASON WITH, TALK WITH, ENGAGE WITH A LIAR!!!! Many times I would ponder on whether or not a person was lying and if he or she was lying I would then spend more time pondering on WHY they were lying.  I would then gather ALL of my evidence and present my case to anyone and everyone to prove that a LIAR IS A LIAR.

For the past nine weeks (ALL MY LIFE really), “… I have been  lied on, cheated, talked about, mistreated, I’ve been used, scorned…”Not just me, the ENTIRE SKINNER FAMILY.  We are currently under severe attack from the enemy.  He is using ALL that he has in order to DESTROY us: HEALTH ISSUES, FINANCIAL ISSUES, RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, STRIFE.  Many times if not most of the time, we listened to his lies and had begun to lash out at each other KNOWING that WE are ALL that WE have. WE HAVE ALLOWED OURSELVES TO BECOME WEARY IN OUR WELL-DOING.  IT IS ALL BECAUSE WE HAD BEGUN TO DEAL WITH, PUT UP WITH, REASON WITH, TALK WITH AND ENGAGE WITH A LIAR!!!   

I allowed the enemy to go too far with his lies and I stayed too long trying to prove him to be a liar when I KNEW that he IS and will ALWAYS BE a LIAR!!!!!! I wanted to be left alone.  I was extremely irritable.  I made careless errors at work.  I argued with and became angry with unreasonable people (…we wrestle not with flesh and blood…). It was too much and I was beginning to unravel  BECAUSE I HAD BEGUN TO DEAL WITH, PUT UP WITH, REASON WITH, TALK WITH AND ENGAGE WITH A LIAR!!!   

Why me? Why my family? Why now? “…kill…steal…and destroy.”  The HOLY SPIRIT brought to my remembrance a statement my Pastor, Regina Harris, made during one of her powerful messages, “…the enemy wants you dead…he wants to kill you…” AND I HAD BEGUN TO DEAL WITH, PUT UP WITH, REASON WITH, TALK WITH AND ENGAGE WITH A LIAR WHO WAS TRYING TO KILL ME AND MY FAMILY!!!!

I HAD TO REPENT FOR I HAD SPENT TO MUCH TIME LISTENING TO AND FOCUSING ON THE LIES OF THE ENEMY WHICH MADE ME FORGET THE POWER AND PROMISES OF GOD (…RESIST THE enemy AND he WILL FLEE FROM YOU…).  It was after my repentance (and many more are due to the LORD), when I decided that after I would NO LONGER DEAL WITH, PUT UP WITH, REASON WITH, TALK WITH AND ENGAGE WITH A LIAR!!!   YOU’SA LIE!!!! 

As the enemy attacks (ALWAYS) and regardless of the severity and frequency of his attacks, I AM TO REMEMBER THE POWER AND PROMISES OF GOD AND MY ONLY RESPONSE YOU’SA LIE!!!! (JUDE 1:9) 

BLESS THE LORD FOR I CAN AND WILL BOLDLY DECLARE AND DECREE…..

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

This morning, as I was dragging myself out of bed as usual on “Why, can’t I sleep in?” SUNDAY.  I asked the LORD what did HE want me to share.  Now mind you, it was after I had to quiet other thoughts out of my head.  Those, “What’s for dinner?”, “Should I make my bed now or after the post or after church or at all?”, “Should I go to the grocery store?”, “Do I run errands today, come home and rest and complete work from the prior weeks?”

I was then reminded of the message that my Pastor, Regina Harris of Greater Faith Christian Ministries, preached, “Ta-Ta JESUS”.  It talked about the lepers being healed and of the one leper who returned to PRAISE GOD.  Many of us know the story of the ten lepers.

My Pastor’s message sent me to my living room.  My living room is one of the many places where I am all in and extremely open with GOD.  My WAR ROOM. It is for praising, worshipping, clarity and cleansing (HE IS CONSTANTLY PRESENTING ME FAULTLESS).  The leper called JESUS.  The leper shouted out, JESUS of Nazareth, Son of David and was heard and healed.  AFTER his healing, he returned to JESUS.  The FORMER leper was heard shouting from afar as he was making his way to THANK JESUS his healing.

It made me think of how I respond or react when I have been healed, delivered, you know BLESSED AFTER I called JESUS-SAVIOR, MASTER, JESUS.  Many times my praise was not as intense as the prayer.  Sure, I thanked the LORD for the blessings, healings, deliverance, protection and provision, but not with the same fervor when I asked.

Since my Pastor, Regina Harris’ message, Ta-Ta JESUS, I asked the HOLY SPIRIT to remind me that the fervor in my worship and praise going IN (PRAYING)  SHOULD match my worship and praise IN and most definitely COMING OUT (deliverance).

I know my reason the INTENSITY IN prayer and Did NOT MATCH the INTENSITY in PRAISE at MY DELIVERANCE was me being UNGRATEFUL.   I was tired and overwhelmed and my energy was depleted.  I realized that it was due to me not PRAISING and WORSHIPPING.  Again, I was in a “How GOD?” mode and not “WOW GOD!!!!” mode.  Even as I was being protected going through, I was operating in “How GOD?” So when I was delivered, I responded like the other 9 lepers, I TOOK HIS BLESSING(S) and WITHHELD  MY  PRAISE.

Again in my living room, asking the LORD to forgive me for taking HIM for granted.  I WAS living as IF I was “ENTITLED” to HIS FAITHFULNESS, HIS MERCIFULNESS, HIS LOVE, HIS GRACE, HIS PROTECTION, HIS PROVISION AND HIS SALVATION.

HE HEARD AND FORGAVE AND THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE AND DECREE

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

People, people, people…I have been having some EXTREME WORRY attacks.  It, the CAUSE OF THE ATTACKS, is NOTHING because there is NOTHING that CAN PREVENT ME FROM THE CALL AND PROMISES OF GOD.

However, I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN NOTHING.  I DIDN’T THINK I HAD GOTTEN CAUGHT UP.  BUT I DID.  I BEGAN NOT ONLY TO LISTEN TO NEGATIVE CONVERSATION.  I ENGAGED IN IT AS WELL.  NO, MY FRUSTRATIONS LEAD ME TO DISCUSS THEM WITH OTHERS.  I HAD GROWN TO WERE I WAS NOT TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT THINGS THAT WERE HAPPENING TO ME OR THAT CONCERNED ME…   I WOULD CALL AND TALK TO SEVERAL PEOPLE ABOUT MY SITUATION. I WOULD THEN TELL THEM THAT GOD GOT ME.  YOU KNOW HOW I DO…

BUT I HAD NOT TALK TO GOD AND I BEGAN TO WORRY WHICH CAUSED ANXIETY, DRINKING OF THE COKES (INFLAMMATION IN MY KNEE AND FOOT RIGHT NOW!!!!), EATING OF THE CANDY AND SEVERAL BAGS OF CHIPS (THWARTING THE HARD WORK OF LOSING WEIGHT BY NOT SNACKING THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND MINDLESSLY). MY ANXIETY WAS CAUSING ME MORE ANXIETY.

I KNEW THAT I SHOULD NOT BE HOLDING ON TO MY CONCERNS.  I KNEW THAT I WAS TO GIVE IT OVER TO THE LORD AND WAIT ON HIS ANSWER.  IT WAS WORKING. MY WAITING ON THE LORD WAS WORKING.  I WOULD BE IN AWE ON HOW HE WOULD RESOLVE WHAT I THOUGHT TO BE ISSUES.  ALL WITHOUT ME DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN HONORING HIM IN MY LIVING/WORKING.

YET, THIS TIME I DID NOT.  THERE WAS A SITUATION IN WHICH MY EFFECTIVENESS WAS QUESTIONED WHILE LIVING/WORKING TO HONORING GOD.  I WAS GIVEN A TASK IN WHICH  INFORMATION FROM OTHERS WAS NOT ONLY CRUCIAL BUT VITAL TO THE ASSIGNMENT/TASK GIVEN.  I RECEIVED NOTHING.

TANGEY V. NEEDED TO RESPOND.  I WAS DOING MY PART.  I, I, I...WANTED TO PROVE THAT I WAS NOT INEFFECTIVE.  I WANTED TO PROVE THAT  THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THE UNCOMPLETED TASK/ASSIGNMENT WAS NOT MY FAULT.  I, I, I…

AS I WAS TYPING MY POSITION/RESPONSE/REASON THE HOLY SPIRIT WOULD NOT ALLOW TANGEY V. TO TYPE THE RESPONSE. LET ME ‘SPLAIN AND MAKE THIS REAL CLEAR AS THIS IS IN REAL TIME.  MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT WAS NOT A HAND OVER THE HEART, TEAR IN THE EYE, HOLD MY MULE, DANCE LIKE DAVID ENCOUNTER.  IT WAS…THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON THAT I COULD NOT FOCUS SO I DID NOT RESPOND.

YET, AS THE LORD FIXED THAT SITUATION WITHOUT MY RESPONSE, I COULD NOT LET GO OF BEING CALLED “INEFFECTIVE“.  AS I AM TYPING THIS, I REALIZED THAT WAS THE ROOT OF MY RECENT ANXIOUSNESS.  IT HAS IMPACTED ME IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE FOR THE LAST 5 WEEKS AND LAST WEEK, ACTUALLY LAST SUNDAY I EXPERIENCED THE WORST OF IT.

I DID NOT POST LAST SUNDAY.  I WAS “SLEEPY” AND AS I WAS RESETTING MY ALARM CLOCK FOR EXTRA SLEEP, I REMEMBER SAYING, “LORD, AIN’T NO TELLING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AS A RESULT OF MY DISOBEDIENCE TO POSTING IN REAL TIME.”

SURELY AS I AM TYPING THIS, THE FLOODGATES OF HELL WAS UNLEASHED.  I WAS ON EDGE.  I WAS  IRRITABLE.  ROAD RAGE COMFORTED ME, MY ECZEMA BEGAN TO FLARE UP, I FELT THE NEED FOR ISOLATION AND DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE. I COULD NOT CONCENTRATE. I WAS DRINKING COKES EVERYDAY AND MINDLESSLY SNACKING.

MY PRAYERS WERE LESS FERVENT AND INTENSE.  I BEGAN TO THINK THAT MY PRAYERS WOULD NOT BE HEARD BECAUSE I DID NOT POST ON LAST WEEK AND THAT I HAD REVERTED BACK TO SOME OLD HABITS.  I HAD SERIOUSLY GRIEVED THE HOLY SPIRIT.

HE TOLD ME NOT TO GET BACK IN THE BED. HE TOLD ME POST IN REAL TIME.  THE FEELING I HAD AFTER THOSE TWO ADDITIONAL HOURS OF TOSSING AND TURNING ( I COULD NOT SLEEP). HE TOLD ME TO DRIVE PAST FAMILY DOLLAR AND WALK BY THE COKES AND CHIPS IN KROGER.  HE TOLD ME TO REFUSE CANDY OFFERS FROM SCHOLARS AND FELLOW TEACHERS. I DID THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

I KNEW THAT I HAD SERIOUSLY GRIEVED THE HOLY SPIRIT.  IT WAS AS IF HE HAD LEFT ME.  I NO LONGER FELT AN INTIMACY WITH GOD. I FELT TRULY ALONE.

BUT GOD.  THROUGH THE SAME HOLY SPIRIT THAT I GRIEVED REMINDED ME THAT HE WOULD LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME.  (GOD IS SO FAITHFUL)

I BEGAN TO BLESS THE LORD AND REPENTED FOR GRIEVING THE HOLY SPIRIT.  I ASKED THAT HE TEACH ME HOW NOT TO GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT.  I REPENTED FOR THE OTHER TIMES I GRIEVED THE HOLY SPIRIT.

GOD IS SO FAITHFUL.  THE HOLY SPIRIT BEGAN TO MINISTER TO ME.  HE TOLD ME TO BLESS THE LORD WHEN THE THOUGHT OF BEING CALLED INEFFECTIVE COMES UP.  HE WARNED ME THAT EVERYTHING THAT CONCERNED ME AND OVERWHELMED ME WOULD COME TO ATTACK ME BECAUSE I AM NOW INEFFECTIVE (THAT’S THE TAPE PLAYING IN MY HEAD).  BLESS THE LORD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT.

“…But the COMFORTER, which is the HOLY GHOST, whom the FATHER will send in MY name, HE shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you…”

‘…In the same way, the SPIRIT helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the SPIRIT HIMSELF intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And HE who searches our hearts knows the mind of the SPIRIT because the SPIRIT intercedes for GOD’S people in accordance with the will of GOD…”

THE HOLY SPIRIT-MY COMFORTER WHOM I HAVE GRIEVED INTERCEDES ON MY BEHALF. THERE ARE NO WORDS–IT IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY AS I BOLDLY DECLARE…

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

I surely did not sleep well last night. Paraphrasing Romans 8, Yes, I am “suffering” at this present time knowing that the GLORY will be revealed.  But I did not not sleep worrying about my “suffering” (life and its happenings), I had too much caffeine yesterday. I overloaded on the Kroger Brand Coke (it is better than the original and it keeps its fizz after you open it).

So as I laid awake last night and this morning, I did not fret about anything. I didn’t curse myself for drinking all of that Coke after 6 last night.  I did not allow myself to think about all the chores and projects that I did not finish or start.  I did not think about work. I did not think about family or friends.  I couldn’t think about anything.

It is just like this post, I know that there are some things to say (type), but what?  I am going to take my own advice from Wednesday’s Bible Study when it appears that I am forcing conversation or trying to find words to express whatever.  I am going to STOP TALKING (TYPING)  AND START PRAYING.  NOTHING IS WRONG.  I KNOW THAT GOD IS AN EVER-PRESENT AND ACTIVE GOD.  I JUST DESIRE, WANT AND NEED TO TALK TO HIM.

“LORD, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE”.

“LORD, I AM AMAZED THAT YOU DESIRE TO BE WITH ME-WHAT IS MAN THAT THOU ARE SO MINDFUL OF HIM?”

“LORD, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING”

“LORD, THANK YOU FOR PRESENTING ME FAULTLESS BEFORE YOU PRESENCE AS YOU SEARCH AND CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART AND RENEWING THE RIGHT SPIRIT IN ME”

“LORD, ALL OF ME DESIRES, WANTS AND NEED MORE OF YOU”

“LORD, GLORY TO YOUR NAME FOR YOU ARE GOD”

“LORD, YOU ARE THE GREAT I AM”‘

“LORD, I REPENT FOR WASTING FOOD AGAIN”

“LORD, I REPENT FOR THE OVERDRAFTS IN MY ACCOUNT-AGAIN”

“LORD, I REPENT FOR GRIEVING THE HOLY SPIRIT AS HE WORKS TO GUIDE ME AWAY FOR DANGERS, TOILS AND SNARES”

“LORD, I THANK YOU THAT YOU HAVE PROVEN TO MY BROTHER AND BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE THAT YOU ARE AN ON TIME GOD”

“LORD, I NOW ASK THAT YOU CONTINUE TO BLESS MY FAMILY-MY BROTHER DON AND NEICE, DOTTIE, MY SISTERS BEVERLY, SHARON AND MARY, MY COUSIN, LEE, MY NEPHEWS, KEITH, MONTELLE SR AND MONTELLE JR., DEMETRICK SR, DEMETRICK JR., DEMETRICK (D3) AND KAMEROUN).  BLESS NITA AND LIL’ ROBERT. BLESS DEISHA AND HER FAMILY.  BLESS PRISCILLA AND HER FAMILY. BLESS CAMILLE AND HER FAMILY.

“LORD, I ASK THAT YOU HEAL HIS BODY AND GIVE HIM STRENGTH AS HE RETURNS TO WORK”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR THE HEALING OF MY NEPHEW, DEMETRICK AS HE RECOVERS FROM MINOR SURGERY”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR HEALING MY SISTER SHARON”

LORD, I THANK YOU FOR HEALING MY MEEGAN’S CHRISTIE”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR HEALING MY FRIEND SYBIL”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR HEALING MR. CHARLES, SYBIL’S HUSBAND”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR STRENGTHEN ALEX, SYBIL’S AND MR. CHARLES DAUGHTER”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS”

“LORD, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAVOR”

“IN THE HEALING, MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, MY LORD AND SAVIOR!!!!!!!!

BLESS THE LORD THAT HE HAS AGAIN PROVEN THAT I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE AND DECREE

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

I didn’t sleep well for at least two or three nights this week.  I “worked” off some nervous energy, Thursday and Friday nights.  I began to clean my house.  It was the typical, shoes needing to go upstairs, clothes to be washed, folded and put away.  There were dishes in the sink, both clean and dirty (how did I get here, I never use to leave dishes in the sink).  Thank GOD I have moved beyond eating the worry/stress away and calling people to assure people that “I was “ALRIGHT” and  “TRUSTING GOD”.

I was thinking, HOW was I going to GET things done WITH WHAT I HAD?  I began to fret because I DIDN’T  HAVE AND I COULDN’T GET THE THINGS DONE that was before ME.  HOW WAS I, I, I, I, I, I?  OH, IT IS ME!!!, ME!!!, ME!!!, ME!!! (NO TEARS, BUT FEARS AND LAMENTING JUST THE SAME).

BLESS THE LORD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT, FOR HE, REMINDED ME THAT “THIS” IS THE SAME “NOTHING”.  THIS IS the SAME NOTHING that has caused me to bite my fingernails. THIS is the SAME NOTHING that has caused me to gain weight (I have lost 20lbs. since June).  THIS is the SAME NOTHING that has caused me to become irritable.  THIS is the SAME NOTHING that has caused me to QUESTION the ONE FOR WHOM THIS IS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM.  HE IS GOD!!!!! AGAIN, BLESS THE HOLY SPIRIT FOR HE HAS REMINDED OF WHO GOD IS.  I ASKED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO  TEACH ME HOW TO GIVE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING TO GOD, EVERYTHING.  It is working.  I have eaten sensibly this weekend.  I have quasi-cleaned my house (shoes in the closet, A BATHROOM and half is cleaned, dishes are washed,  MY BED  is made). When THIS, THAT IS NOTHING COMES UP (AND THIS WILL), I THANK THE LORD AGAIN FOR NOTHING...I didn’t lament long, I am GLORIFYING GOD because my brother IS HEALED, my sister IS HEALED, I am feeling well and I am getting better, my friends ARE HEALED, our needs are met and our desires are given IN THE NAME OF JESUS.

AND THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE AND DECREE

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME