On Tuesday, July 5, 2016, I was instructed by the Nurse Practitioner at Shelby County Schools clinic to go straight to the emergency room because my blood count was extremely low. I want to say I suspected that something was awry due to my energy level of late. But, low blood, coupled with HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE along with low iron was not even in consideration.
Honestly, I thought that my low energy level was caused by several mitigating factors. My downstairs A/C unit is not working and I LIVE downstairs (cooking, washing, watching television, lounge). So, the heat was POSSIBLY causing my fatigue. Also, I was not cooking (heat and no A/C) and as a result, had no viable nutrients to sustain and maintain iron levels. Lastly and most honestly, I thought I was being extra, extra, extra trifling-just sleeping. Dozing off at a moment’s notice without completing any tasks: household or personal. I would discuss my lethargic (inside joke) state with my friends and all would say, “…girl, you tide…T..I..D..E (too exhausted for the R). You are teaching summer school, you have not rested from the previous school year and your air is out…”
Their logic and irrefutable facts did not prevent me from thinking that I was not BEING FAITHFUL. That ONCE AGAIN I was SQUANDERING BLESSINGS FROM GOD. I HAD begun to work on many projects that were impeding or that would impede me from transitioning into the BLESSINGS and PROMISES of GOD. But I was SO TIRED and I kept ASKING for FORGIVENESS and MERCY. I continue to say, I KNOW what I NEED TO DO so WHY am I STILL praying, “…FAITH WITHOUT WORKS…” The more I TRIED to WORK, the MORE TIDE I became. THE MORE TIDE I BECAME the MORE I PLEADED FOR HIS FORGIVENESS and MERCY. I then BEGAN to DOUBT with Questions “…Will I Ever get it RIGHT to RECEIVE GOD’S PROMISES?…, WHY can’t I GET IT RIGHT?..
Even after the diagnoses of low blood count coupled with HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE (never had it EVER) along with low iron, I continued to THINK and FEEL that I should have done something else or differently to ENSURE THE BLESSINGS OF GOD: Should I have gone to family and friends houses for comfort after work (I still needed to clean my house and work on projects)? Should I have purchased dinners for area restaurants for comfort and convenience (stewardship-already BOUGHT groceries)? Should I have completed the projects already?
I was, as many say, “…in a bad way…” physical and spiritual.
WHY CAN’T I BE FAITHFUL TO GOD?!?!?! LORD, HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!
YET, GOD IN HIS WAYS (WHICH ARE HIGHER THAN OURS AS WELL AS HIS THOUGHTS) KNOWS, KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK TO HIS CHILDREN.
My sister-friend, Meegan, AFTER SHE FUSSED (YES, LOVINGLY) FUSSED (SHE WOULD DISAGREE AND SHE WAS RIGHT) prepared an IRON RICH meal for me after my doctor’s appointment. While waiting on my IRON RICH dinner (Steak and Spinach), I was sitting in the living room with two of the most precious beings (Millicent and the Champ Adair). It was during this time that Millicent stated that she wanted to be a GROWN-UP. With me not feeling well and WANTING to be BABIED (new word), I informed Millicent that she should want to STAY a baby. She emphatically STATED that SHE was GROWING and COULD NO LONGER BE A BABY(*JUST HAD A HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION ON THAT DECLARATION FROM MILLICENT).
I TOLD MILLICENT THAT I WANTED TO BE A BABY AND SHE ASKED “WHY?” I TOLD HER THAT I WAS NOT FEELING WELL AND BEFORE I COULD FINISH MY STATEMENT, MILLICENT GOES AND GETS HER BLANKET AND STUFFED ANIMAL. SHE THEN SAYS, HERE, FEEL BETTER…AS SHE COVERS ME WITH HER BLANKET AND GIVES ME HER STUFFED ANIMAL. I THANKED HER FOR SHARING AND THOUGHT “HOW SWEET”.
WHEN I RETURNED TO MY RESIDENTIAL AREA, I CONTINUED TO THINK OF “HOW SWEET” OF MILLICENT WAS. “HOW SWEET” COVERING ME WITH HER BLANKET AND “HOW SWEET” GIVING ME HER STUFFED ANIMAL FOR COMFORT. IT WAS THEN THAT I BEGAN TO BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD. FOR GOD REVEALED THAT THE BLANKET IS HIS GRACE THAT COVERS ME AND THE STUFFED ANIMAL IS THE HOLY SPIRIT, HE THAT COMFORTS ME. WE MUST CONTINUE TO SEEK GOD IN ALL THINGS.
THROUGH MILLICENT’S WORDS “…HERE, FEEL BETTER…” AND HER ACTIONS OF COVERING ME WITH HER BLANKET AND GIVING ME HER STUFFED ANIMAL, GOD REMINDED ME, ONCE AGAIN, THAT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME. THAT THIS TIME, IT WAS NOT FEAR OR DOUBT THAT PREVENTED ME FROM DOING THE WORK THAT IS REQUIRED TO RECEIVE. I WAS NOT FEELING WELL.
HE ALSO REMINDED ME AGAIN THAT HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL AND THAT HE PROTECTS US FROM DANGERS SEEN AND UNSEEN. MANY THINGS COULD HAVE HAPPENED AS A RESULT OF MY LOW BLOOD COUNT, LOW IRON COUNT AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE and YET, THE BLANKET IS HIS GRACE THAT COVERS ME AND THE STUFFED ANIMAL IS THE HOLY SPIRIT, HE THAT COMFORTS ME.
MILLICENT ADAIR’S WORDS “…HERE, FEEL BETTER” as she covers me with her blanket (GOD’S GRACE) and gives me her stuffed animal (HOLY SPIRIT, HE) continues to assure that….
…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”
Tangey V.
INREALTIME
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