Audios

As I type this at this moment (real time), I am trying to find something in which to share.  I have much to share and nothing at the same time.  It is an extreme feeling of calmness.  Yes, there are many situations that I am dealing with and concerned about AND I HAVE SUCH A SENSE OF PEACE ABOUT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.  This calmness that I am speaking of was once unnerving.  I lived my life waiting on “something bad” to happen.  It was too calm and nothing was happening (calm before the storm).

I am learning that calm in many cases IS CALM. I AM LEARNING TO LIVE IN AND WITH THE PEACE and the JOY of the LORD.   Like many, the storm/storms have uprooted me out of places of comfort and conveniences.  I suffered much damage and loss due to the storms.  I cried more than it rained during the storms.

I became astute in STORM RECOVERY.  My life consisted of constantly recovering from the storm.  I was not really enjoying life because “SOMETHING” had happened and “SOMETHING’ might happen AGAIN.   I may need HOLD ON TO these RESOURCES because “SOMETHING” had happened and “SOMETHING”  might happen AGAIN.  I didn’t laugh and really didn’t smile because “SOMETHING” had happened and “SOMETHING” might happen AGAIN to make me WEEP AGAIN.

I don’t have to simplify “THE STORM”.  It is that perpetual state of “WHY GOD?”, “WHEN GOD?”, “HOW GOD?” Whether the questions  that were being asked  were about health, finances, children, personal or professional relationships, social issues and injustices, they were still “WHY GOD?”, “WHEN GOD?”, and “HOW GOD?”.  “THE STORM” TAUGHT me, REMINDS me to TRUST GOD.

I AM NOW BECOMING ASTUTE IN STORM PREPAREDNESS.  I NO LONGER FRET WHEN “NOTHING” IS HAPPENING.  I AM LEARNING HOW TO BLESS THE LORD IN THIS CALM. I AM LIVING IN THIS CALM. LIVING. LAUGHING AND LOVING.  IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF GOD.  I RECOGNIZE IT AS THE JOY AND PEACE OF THE LORD.  THE WORLD DID NOT GIVE IT AND THE STORMS (SPIRITUAL GROWTH, HEALTH ISSUES, FAMILY ISSUES, FINANCIAL ISSUES) CAN NOT UPROOT IT AND TAKE IT FROM ME.

AND THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY AND CALMLY DECLARE AND DECREE

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

 

 

 

 

 

This morning my spirit for INREALTIME is willing, but my FLESH is sleepy.  I hit the snooze button only once. I should have gotten up when I first heard the alarm because I COULD NOT go back to sleep.  At the sound of the second alarm, I did get out of the bed (not with zeal of course) and began to prepare for today’s post.

As I was preparing for today’s post, I had to “STOP” my mind from roaming.  Surprisingly it did not take long.  There has been soooooooo much going on THIS WEEK.  I am surprisingly calmer than I have ever been in my life.  Yes, I have discussed it with my family and friends. But what I am shonuff overwhelmed by is the fact that I IS (MEANT TO PUT IS THERE) CALM.

Typically, I would have called everyone I know to “check on them” and that would have provided me an avenue to tell them what I was dealing with or going through.  NO, I let me CORRECT the previous statement.  I would have been “given my testimony” on how I have “GIVEN” it ALL to GOD and how I “TRUST” HIM.  In ACTUALITY, they were FAUXTIMONIES (FAUX TESTIMONIES AND NEW WORD). It was my fear and doubt that I was exposing under the guise of my many decrees and declarations.  The decrees and declarations were not made BOLDY but FEARFUL and DOUBTFUL in the name of JESUS.

Due to my FEARFUL AND DOUBTFUL decrees and declarations in the NAME OF JESUS, I was NOT enjoying life. I WAS losing sleep.  I WAS “sleeping in”. I WAS binge eating and WAS STILL hungry.   I WAS depriving myself of necessities and desires.  ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE CAUSED BY MY MANY FAUXTIMONIES (FAUX TESTIMONIES).  I WAS REALLY AFRAID AND HAD NO CLUE ON HOW TO HANDLE THE VARIED AND VARIOUS SITUATIONS THAT I WAS IN.

YES, I HEARD “CAST ALL YOUR CARES ON HIM…”. I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS DOING JUST THAT BY GIVEN MY FAUXTIMONIES (NEW WORD) TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. BUT GOD. HE IS SO FAITHFUL.

I COULD LIST EVERY PRAISE PROMPT (SITUATION AND NEW WORD) BUT AS THE NEW WORD CONNOTATES (PRAISE PROMPT), I CHOSE TO PRAISE AND WORSHIP GOD.  YES, THEY ARE EXTREMELY SERIOUS AND SOME ARE LIFE ALTERING (LIFE-SHATTERING FOR THOSE WHO REFUSE TO REALLY SEE GOD IN ALL THINGS). YES, THEY ARE WEIGHING HEAVILY ON ME AND AS THEY COME UP (BECAUSE THEY WILL), I CALL ON THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HELP ME GIVE IT BACK TO THE LORD.

I HAVE SAID “OH NO…I AM NOT DEALING WITH THAT…LORD, IT IS YOURS…I KNOW AND I AM NOT AFRAID…I TRUST YOU, LORD…TEACH ME HOW TO TRUST…HELP...I CAN’T LORD…BLESS YOU, LORD…PRAISE YOUR NAME LORD…GLORY TO YOUR NAME LORD…THIS ARE NEEDLESS CARES…I AM NOT FORFEITING ANY MORE PEACE…THE HOLY SPIRIT BRINGS TO MY REMEMBRANCE THAT I SERVE A LIVING GOD WHO HAS ALL POWER IN HIS HANDS.

Taking liberty and using the Mississippi Mass Choir as an authority, this morning when I rose….my SPIRIT was WILLING to share this post AND MY FLESH was SLEEPY and YET,

I HAD NO DOUBT FOR…

I KNOW THE LORD HAS, IS AND WILL TAKE CARE OF ME

I KNOW THE LORD HAS, IS AND WILL PROVIDE FOR ME

I KNOW THE LORD HAS IS AND WILL GUIDE ME ALL THE WAY

SO I AM SINGING, SHOUTING, PRAYING, PRAISING AS I START MY DAY

AND THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE AND DECREE (NO MORE FAUXTIMONIES)

“…NOTHING will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is CHRIST JESUS…”

TANGEY V

INREALTIME

 

I have been joyously (is that a word?, don’t know?!, if not, NOW it is) living this week.  It started last Sunday after I quoted both Psalmist, King David and Fred Hammond, “…what is man that THOU are mindful of him…”  The quote led me to continuously sing Fred Hammond’s “YOU call me friend”.  I then had to hear the song.  I HAD TO HEAR THE SONG.

On Friday morning, I was late leaving the house.  I was trying to find the song on YouTube (on television) and allow it to play until I left the house.  Every song but “You call me friend” popped up. I was not becoming frustrated. It was just the opposite.  As the other songs/videos of Fred Hammond were coming across the screen, I would joyously begin to sing those songs as well while looking for the song that was constantly playing in my heart.

I finally was able to hear the song before I left for work (as well as two others).  Yet, I continued to sing “YOU call me friend”.  I was singing the song (in my heart) during homeroom (extended homeroom).  I then listened to it again on my “planning” period as I graded papers.

“PERFECT and TRUE, PURE in ALL Your ways
O LORD, there is none else like YOU, no one like YOU
And all these things keep me in AWE of YOU
And I’m OVERWHELMED that YOU would call me friend

….Ruler of everything, You are CREATOR, LORD and KING
Willingly YOU have taken my debt as YOUR own
I would gladly give all to be a servant or a slave
For I’m OVERWHELMED that YOU would call me friend, oh yeah yeah yeah

What is a man (INSERT NAME HERE) that THOU art mindful of him?
Could an AWESOME GOD find common ground within?
Just to know that YOU delight to be with me
Fills my heart with so much joy…”

What is man, that THOU art mindful of him? and the son of man, that THOU visitest him? (Psalm 8:4), is a question that I ask the LORD often.  With ALL that GOD IS, HE not only desires, HE also delights to be with ME?  ME?  ME?

You know ME!!!!! ME who falters and struggles unnecessarily. ME who yearns for comfort and convenience.  ME who is still learning HOW TO WAIT.  ME, who has road rage.  ME who procrastinates.  ME who is indifferent. ME who is arrogant and proud. ME who is faithless, fearful and doubtful. GOD DESIRES AND DELIGHTS TO BE WITH ME?!!!!

GOD’S DESIRE FOR ME AND GOD’S DELIGHT to be with me has me yearning to be desirable and delightful.  I have been asking the HOLY SPIRIT to teach, show and guide in on HOW TO LOVE the LORD.  HIS DESIRE for me and HIS DELIGHT in me compels me to reciprocate. I KNOW that I will never be able to LOVE GOD more or as much as HE LOVES me.  I AM WANTING AND PRAYING TO BE WILLING AT ALL TIMES TO LOVE HIM THE WAY HE WANTS AND DESIRES TO BE LOVED.

TRUSTING IN HIS SOVEREIGNTY.  I NOW realize and don’t always understand that the “troubles” regardless of what I call it (conflict, turmoil, sickness, struggles) is how HE presents ME faultless before HIS PRESENCES and GRACE.  ME?!!!! ME?!!!! HE allows it so that HE CAN BE WITH ME.

“…And HE walks with me
And HE talks with me
And HE tells me I am HIS own
And the joy WE share as WE tarry there
None other has ever known…”

THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE THAT…..

“…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

I don’t really know what to share this morning. There are many things/topics/themes that could be shared. GOD continues to reveal HIMSELF and I am so grateful for HIS LOVE and FAITHFULNESS.  Yet, this morning as I sit here typing, I am intently listening and waiting on HIS GUIDANCE for today’s post.  As I was typing this I received a HOLY GHOST intervention.  HE reminded me that when IT APPEARS that GOD is NOT speaking that I SHOULD NOT and MUST NOT be AFRAID. In other words, BE QUIET AND SIT STILL.

I have been in this place many times before where there were a lot and nothing to say at the same time.  QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS use to unsettle me.  IT appeared eerie at best. I use to fight the QUIET AND STILLNESS. I would call just about everyone on my contact list. I just HAD to catch up with people I hadn’t talk to in years.  When they were not available, I would watch television and listen to the radio (YES RADIO, PRIOR TO THE SMARTPHONE).  ANYTHING SO THAT I WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE QUIET AND SIT STILL.

I NOW know better and yet, more times than I want to admit, I still try to avoid the QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS of GOD.  Some of it is fear, but not the fear of being condemned and the fear of damnation.  IT IS the fear of KNOWING what HE REQUIRES and what HE EXPECTS and FALLING SHORT.

BUT GOD…WHO IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL AND MERCIFUL (WORSHIP HERE)

IT WAS REVEALED TO ME THAT THE QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS OF GOD IS NOT A PLACE OF CONDEMNATION.  THE QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS OF GOD IS NOT A PLACE OF DAMNATION.  IT IS THE PLACE THAT I AM  SHONUFF (INDEED, IF YOU PREFER) LOVED AND PROTECTED.  THIS IS WHERE GOD REQUIRED ME TO PUT IT ALL ON THE LINE, TELL IT LIKE IT IS, NOT TO  HOLD “NOTHING” BACK, BARBEQUE OR MILDEW (THROWBACK). IN THE QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS, GOD OVERWHELMED ME (AND CONTINUES TO DO SO) WITH THE DEPTH OF HIS LOVE FOR ME

“…What IS man that THOU ARE SO MINDFUL OF him

Could AN AWESOME GOD find  COMMON GROUND WITHIN

just to know that YOU DELIGHT to be WITH me…” (Psalmist Fred Hammond, Psalm 8:4-8)

BEING QUIET AND SITTING STILL IS THE ONLY REASON THAT I AM.  BEING QUIET AND SITTING STILL HAS ALLOWED GOD TO TEACH, SHOW AND GUIDE ME ON HOW TO LOVE AND HONOR HIM.  THE QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS OF GOD IS WHERE WE ARE THE MOST INTIMATE.  HE IS LOVING ON me  AND I AM LOVING ON HIM.   I  AM SO SAFE IN HIS LOVE THAT I NOW REVEAL ALL: DESIRES, FEARS, THOUGHTS, DOUBTS.  IT IS WHERE HE REVEALS, CORRECTS, STRENGTHENS AND GUIDES.

I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT GOD HAS TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE QUIET AND SIT STILL and for this, I boldly declare that…..

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

Many times than not, I have allowed “THE SITUATION” that I was in WIN.  I made room for “THE SITUATION”.  “THE SITUATION”  was EVER PRESENT as it guided and controlled my every move and thought.  “THE SITUATION” controlled and scripted my responses.  “THE SITUATION” determined my actions and reactions: my temperament,  my social interaction and many times lack thereof, my finances and my health.  “THE SITUATION” frighten me, paralyzed me, immobilized me and disarmed me. “THE SITUATION” had a stronghold. As a result, I began to look like what I was going through.

I did not look like myself because of “THE SITUATION”.  I did not and could not recognize myself as I looked in the mirror. My “JOYGLOW” (“…the world didn’t give it…”) was depleted.  It shouldn’t have been because it is a neverending supply and there is an abundance of JOYGLOW.  “THE SITUATION” AND JOYGLOW DID NOT BLEND WELL.  I FORGOT THAT I WAS TO APPLY JOYGLOW TO “THE SITUATION” TO LESSEN ITS IMPACT AND EVENTUALLY ERADICATE “THE SITUATION”

IT’S JUST LIKE IN LIFE,  WE ALLOW WHAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH, GOING THROUGH AND WILL GO THROUGH CONTROL US. WE ARE OFTEN SURPRISED THAT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH “THE SITUATION” AND “THE SITUATION” CONTINUES TO APPEAR AT THE MOST INOPPORTUNE TIME. HANDLING AND DEALING WITH “THE SITUATION” MANY TIMES IS NOT WITHOUT PAIN, SACRIFICE, TEARS AND INCONVENIENCE.

“THE SITUATION” IS JUST AN ATTACK FROM THE ENEMY.  YES, I SAID (TYPED) JUST.  GOD HAS TAUGHT, TOLD AND WARNED US OF THE ATTACK, I MEAN “THE SITUATION”. “…WALKING TO AND FRO SEEKING WHOM he MAY DEVOUR…”, “…KILL, STEAL AND DESTROY…”, “…SHEEP AMONG WOLVES…BE WISE AS THE SERPENT AND HUMBLE AS A DOVE…”

JESUS PROMISED US THAT WE WILL OVERCOME “THE SITUATION”, THAT WE HAVE AUTHORITY OVER “THE SITUATION”. SO LET US BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD FOR “THE SITUATION” BECAUSE IT IS WHERE GOD WILL BE GLORIFIED. LET US CALL ON THE HOLY SPIRIT AND HE WILL APPLY JOYGLOW TO “THE SITUATION” TO LESSEN ITS IMPACT AND EVENTUALLY ERADICATE.

THIS IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE THAT…..

“…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

Whew!!!! This has been some week.  I have returned to work after a restful and extremely productive summer.  I actually completed many things from my “I got to get my life together to-do list”.   It is “THE LIST” that I created after my first or second year teaching.  It is also “THE LIST” that I didn’t get to because I was teaching summer school and trying to rest.  It is “THE LIST” I couldn’t get to because I was mentally exhausted and “THE LIST” required some thinking and tinkering.  It is also “THE LIST” that I couldn’t get to because I was on vacation. No, I was not always out of town.  There is STAYCATION.  I stayed at home and in the house and did not attempt to find “THE LIST” so you know I did not WORK “THE LIST”. I WAS EXHAUSTED.

“THE LIST” was no longer a productive tool that would allow me to maximize time and resources so that I could enjoy my life.  Regardless of my intentions to and my attempts at completing “THE LIST”, I couldn’t do it physically and mentally.  I COULDN’T DO IT!!!!  THE LIST” had become the SOURCE of my anxieties: not sleeping or resting, irritability, crying, lamenting, complaining, and cussing.  Yes, at others, but mainly myself.

“THE LIST”, my creation, was not serving its purpose.  I had given “THE LIST” authority over my life and “THE LIST” caused me to question the worthiness of my life.  Not working or completing “THE LIST” has caused me on many occasions to question not only my abilities but my worthiness for any and all things.  Something must be wrong with me if I can’t do these simple things on “THE LIST….file important papers, take clothes to cleaners,  fold clothes, no put clothes on the hanger AND HANG IN THE CLOSET, replace the light bulb and shower curtains and rod, take meat out of the freezer, dust, COOK, take  the pile of whatever (books, clothes, trinkets) to the Salvation Army because the yard sale IS NOT HAPPENING.

BLESS THE LORD!!!! This summer was different, I actually worked “THE LIST”.  “…THE LIST without works….” I BEGAN TO REALIZE THAT “THE LIST”, MY CREATION, was actually A PRECURSOR TO THE PROMISES OF GOD.  THE THINGS ON “THE LIST” HAD TO BE DONE IN ORDER TO CLEAR THE CLUTTER THAT WAS IN MY LIFE.  THE CLUTTER HAD TO BE CLEARED SO THAT I COULD HEAR GOD AS HE MOVED ME INTO THE PROMISES HE HAS FOR MY LIFE SO THAT HE CAN GET ALL OF HIS GLORY.

YES, I WAS AND IS TIRED (I DID TYPE IS), BUT I REALIZED THAT IT WAS GOD WHO HAD GIVEN ME NOT ONLY THE SECOND AND THIRD WIND, BUT HE WAS, HAS, IS AND WILL CARRY ME WHEN I CAN’T.

Just the other night, I WAS SO TIRED THAT I was about to cry, about to cry because I WAS SO TIRED…THE HOLY SPIRIT REMINDED ME THAT I WAS HARVEST AND REAPING TIRED, NOT SOWING TIRED (WILL EXPAND IN A LATER BLOG).  I THEN BEGAN TO BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD AND THANK HIM FOR BEING TIRED.  I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CRAZY.  THE HOLY SPIRIT BROUGHT TO MY REMEMBRANCE THAT I WAS REAPING WHAT MY DESIRE TO HONOR GOD IN ALL THINGS, MY TEARS, MY PAIN, AND MY LOSSES HAD SOWN.  THAT I WAS NOT ONLY WALKING IN  BUT I AM PRESENTLY IN GOD’S PROMISES FOR MY LIFE.

GOD IS SO FAITHFUL AND IT IS WHY I CAN BOLDLY DECLARE THAT

“…Nothing will separate ME for the Love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”

Hello my peoples (yes, I meant to put “s” on people).  It is an inside joke from a long time ago and as you can see (read in your case), I still think it is hilarious. As I type this, I am still celebrating with my family (in the spirit because my flesh is tide, like washing powder). We, the Skinners and the Kings along with our extended family (many of you call them friends) soaked in Epsom salt, rubbed with green alcohol and slept sound with little to no pain because of the muscle relaxants as proof of the celebration.

I am so glad that GOD has never stopped amazing and overwhelming me.  HE is teaching me HOW to see HIM in ALL things.  Something as simple and common as a trunk party reminded me of the GOODNESS of JESUS CHRIST.  A trunk party given for my great nephew, Montelle Skinner, Jr. He will be attending Tusculum University this fall.  He will become a nurse and hopefully a nurse practitioner.

I know many may be wondering, “A trunk party? GOODNESS of JESUS CHRIST?  How? What? Huh? Well, I began to think about how my nephew Montelle, Sr. and my sister Sharon came to the house the weekend before and assisted with the logistics as we cleaned carpet and washed base boards and walls.

I think of how Demetrick Jr. , with his work schedule, sacrificed his comfort by not setting up his game in the living room so that it would not cause me to do any extra work.

I think of how my pastor and her husband, Reverend Regina Harris of Greater Faith Christian Ministries and Gabriel Harris (go get some of that baked chicken, fish, kool-aid, greens) allowed me to use tables and chairs from the church to accommodate my family.

I think of how my Uncle Fred, at the last minute, transported the tables and chairs to my house. I think of how my extended family (many of you call them friends) called and offered assistance prior to the trunk party and when they arrived brought gifts and continued to offer assistance.

I think of how NO ONE FELT like a stranger and how the conversation flowed and how people interacted with each other.  Children were playing, teenagers were connecting, the young adults were mingling, the always improving PG Group (Parenting and Guardian) were laughing, eating (of course), drinking and dancing ( Maze, Anthony Hamilton,  Stanky leg, the Wobble, Triggerman).  There was not a sense of discord or dissension.

IT WAS GOOD AND THERE AIN’T NOTHING GOODER THAN GOD!!!!!! YES, I MEANT WHAT I TYPED IN THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE, THERE AINT’ NOTHING GOODER THAN GOD!!!!!!!

One of my PROMISES from GOD is that people would be and feel welcomed in my home for not only have I allowed the LORD to come and SUP with me (Revelation 3:20), I have given HIM charge over my life.  In other words, the GOOD is GOD.  What or who I am is NOTHING!!! What I have is NOTHING!!!!! ALL THAT I AM IS ONLY BECAUSE OF GOD!!!!!

If you thought WHAT  I supposedly did for you, gave to you, showed to you or said to you WAS GOOD.  YOU NEED TO TRY GOD.  HIS GOODNESS IS EVERLASTING.  HE DOES NOT WAIVER AND HE IS FAITHFUL.  HE HAS ALREADY GIVEN US HIS BEST, JESUS CHRIST AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.

AND FOR THAT I BOLDLY DECLARE

“…Nothing will separate ME from the Love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

 

AGAIN  “…a child will lead them…” As I was enjoying my snow days, I had the immense pleasure to spend time with the Animated Devin “Champ” Adair, Jr. and the Illustratious Millicent Adair who is many times wise beyond her 5 years.

As I was speaking to Millicent’s mom on Friday morning (January 12), I heard Millicent excitedly exclaim, “I prayed to GOD for snow and it snowed.  She then began to talk about how her prayer for SNOW was not just for her. In her discussion with the other kindergarten’s at her school, she realized that they all wanted to snow and that she prayed for SNOW for them too. I thought, how sweet.

Later that evening, Millicent came to my house for her personal “T” Time ( T=Tangey V, get it). She stayed overnight. We watched Word Party and Sing (4 times which will be a different post for another time).  We had snacks, I cleaned the kitchen and we prepared for bed. We “slept in”.  To her families horror, Millicent sleeps until 6-7 on the weekends, not the customary 8-9:30 that many dream of every Saturday and Sunday.

Millicent did wake up around 6:15, I was already up. I wake up early on the weekends as well and most of the time, I am out of the bed, doing some light housework, taking a drive pass the YMCA ( I am doing better), at the grocery store (too dangerous now) and working on lesson plans, grading papers or reading work-related email in order to complete some “additional tasks as assigned”.

I was faltering in all of my early Saturday morning rituals and tasks.  I could not complete, let alone start on any of those with the exception of the grocery store.  I did nothing, nothing because the “additional tasks as assigned” along with grading papers and creating lesson plans had become overwhelming as well as cleaning house and other chores and activities.

I thought that I was ready after the Christmas break to get back into the swing of things.  I rested over the holiday.  I did nothing work-related and very little as far as housework.   Yet, when I returned to work, I did not feel rested at all.  I began to say I need another break.  I needed more time to get “it” right.  The Christmas break was not enough.  I was tired from “holidaying” (gatherings, all that food, sappy movies).

As we are laying in bed, Millicent and I, she wanted to know when I was “getting up”. I informed her that I was “up”.  There was a slight discord.  She stated that I was awake, but not “up”(You’re STILL in the bed).  I informed Millicent that I know that I should already be out of the bed, cooking breakfast and cleaning house, but right now, I can’t do it.  She stated that I should pray and ask GOD to help me and GOD WILL DO IT!!!

How does SHE KNOW that GOD WILL DO IT?!!!!  She is ONLY a kindergarten.  I then remembered that I heard Millicent so excitedly testify that she had prayed for snow and GOD DID IT!!!! HE ANSWERED HER PRAYER.  SHE was ONLY GIVEN HER TESTIMONY in REMEMBERING THAT IT IS THE SNOW THAT WE KNOW ENJOY.

I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT SHE HAD SAID AND IT WAS EXTREMELY PROFOUND FOR ME AS I LAY AWAKE IN BED “EYES CLOSED AND HEAD UNDER THE COVER”.  GOD WILL DO IT!!!!

GOD WILL DO IT!!!!! GOD WILL DO IT!!!  Hearing that made me open my eyes, remove the covers and GET UP and OUT OF THE BED.  IT WAS A REMINDER THAT NO MATTER HOW OVERWHELMING THINGS ARE OR HAVE BECOME, GOD HAS EQUIPPED ME TO STRIVE AND THRIVE.  MILLICENT’S TESTIMONY, I PRAYED TO GOD FOR SNOW and IT DID…GOD WILL DO IT!!!!!  HE GAVE HER MORE THAN WHAT SHE IMAGINED OR ASKED FOR.  SHE WANTED A SNOW DAY, HE GAVE HER FIVE SNOW DAYS.

I TOO, LIKE MILLICENT ADAIR KNOW AND DECLARE GOD WILL DO IT!!!!! AND FOR THAT I BOLDLY DECLARE

“…Nothing will separate ME from the Love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

 

 

 

 

 

As I was contemplating and asking for guidance in sharing this post, I started of thinking and was going to type: I am always grateful (for the blessings of GOD).  But before I could type or complete the thought, the HOLY SPIRIT reminded me that that is NOT the case: BEING GRATEFUL and being GRATEFUL at ALL TIMES.  THANK THE LORD for HOLY GHOST INTERVENTION.

I, too, like many compared myself and what I had (or lacked) with others.  Whatever I had could have NO SHOULD HAVE been bigger or smaller, brighter or duller,  longer and taller or shorter depending on that particular situation.  I could not, no did not live my life to the fullest because I was always focused on what others were or were not doing, had or didn’t and most definitely shouldn’t have.  I was fretting not only the evildoers (Psalm 37) but everyone.  Why was I not being blessed?  Why was I not LIVING?

Unfortunately, as with many, I had to experience hardships to appreciate the GOODNESS of the LORD.  I NOW understand that it was not for punishment.   If you want to KNOW the TRUTH, MY version of the TRUTH, GOD was punishing me and I DID NOT KNOW WHY.  I BESEECHED HIM IN PRAYER, I CRIED OUT TO HIM LIKE LENNY WILLIAMS…OH…OH…OH.

I HAD TO FILE CHAPTER 13 (SHELBY COUNTY SCHOOLS PAY SCHEDULE CAUSED AN EXTREME HARDSHIP), I LOST FRIENDS AND THE INTENSITY OF SOME FRIENDSHIPS, TWO OF MY FAVORITE UNCLES PASSED,  I CHANGED JOBS, MY CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY WERE QUESTIONED, I WAS EXCESSED FOR UNPROFESSIONALISM ((I WAS LIED ON AND THEY BELIEVED THE LIE), I HAD TO GO BACK AND WORK IN A PLACE THAT DEEMED ME UNPROFESSIONAL AND INEFFECTIVE. I CRIED BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE, I CRIED IN THE PARKING LOT AND EXPERIENCED ANXIETY SUNDAY-THURSDAY NIGHT, CRYING.  I GAINED WEIGHT AND MY COUNTENANCE CHANGED.

I HAD TO BE ABOVE REPROACH. I HAD TO SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY.  I HAD TO COME EARLY AND STAY LATE SO THAT NOTHING EXTRA COULD BE CHARGED AND HELD AGAINST ME.   I HAD TO DO THE CHRIST THING WHEN I WAS BEING WRONGED. I HAD TO HONOR GOD.

I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND. I WANTED to EXPOSE AND PROVE THE WRONG.  YET, I HAD TO HONOR GOD EVEN WHEN IT FELT LIKE HE WAS NOT LISTENING TO ME AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT ME.  I HAD TO, HAD TO HONOR GOD.

Again, I have experienced hardships before, but the abovementioned events were LIFE changing.  Unfortunately and FORTUNATELY, IT TOOK ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED EVENTS TO MOVE ME INTO A PLACE OF GRATEFULNESS.  I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT The abovementioned events happened SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!!!!  

As I cried out about WHAT was happening, the HOLY SPIRIT showed me WHAT was REALLY happening.  HE made me realize how BLESSED I really am.  I could not see it to appreciate it because I did not TRUST GOD.  I did not TRUST that GOD LOVED me and DESIRED me.  I did not and could not SEE GOD’s CONSTANT, CONSISTENT AND CONTINUOUS FAVOR in my life.  I HAD GOD, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO SUPPORTED ME AND PRAYED FOR AND WITH ME.  THE PRAYERS OF THE RIGHTEOUS PREVALENT MUCH.

I was TOO BUSY AND FOCUSED ON WHAT  I SUPPOSEDLY LACKED, WHICH WAS NOTHING.  MOST OF THE THINGS I “LACKED” I HAD NO REAL DESIRE FOR THEM.  I WAS IN THE “ME TOO”  AND “WHY THEM AND NOT ME” MODE.  THE ABOVEMENTIONED EVENTS HAVE PRESENTED ME FAUTLESS BEFORE GOD’S PRESENCE.  THOSE EVENTS ARE A REMINDER OF HIS FAITHFULNESS

I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I DON’T COMPLAIN AS MUCH. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I AM MORE APT TO WAIT FOR GOD’S GUIDANCE AND AM ACTUALLY WORKING ON WAITING FOR HIS RESPONSE. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I DON’T LINGER ON “WHO SHOT JOHN DOWN AND WHY” AS MUCH AND AS LONG AS I USE TO.  I AM TRULY LEARNING HOW TO GIVE THANKS AND BE GRATEFUL FOR AND IN ALL THINGS.  I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT AS I CONTINUE TO LEARN HOW LOVE GOD THE WAY HE DESIRES TO BE LOVE I CAN HONESTLY AND BOLDY DECLARE THAT …….

“…Nothing will separate ME for the Love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS….”

Tangey V.

INREALTIME

For several weeks, not two or three, let’s just say since April/May 2017, I have not been able to “connect” with GOD.  It’s as if I am saying (praying) the same prayers and the conversation (prayers) are not as intense as they use to be.  We would talk for hours and days on end: early morning, midday, before bed, at the midnight hour, 2-3 am unofficial early wake up time. It was INTENSE-the conversation (prayers, praise and worship).  We both, GOD and I wanted more!!! HE DESIRED me, HE  WANTED me and PROVED HIS FAITHFULNESS towards me.

Oh, the things WE shared and tears WE shed concerning the growing pains, the regrets, the mistakes and errors, the victories, the celebrations, the joys and the peace.  I desired to be with HIM even more.  HE LOVED ME through it all.  I NOW know what LOVE IS.  I wanted to know HIS WAYS.  I wanted to please GOD.  I wanted HIM to teach and show me HOW to LOVE HIM how HE wanted to be loved.  HE did and I took HIM and HIS LOVE for granted. AGAIN!!!

WE talked, but it just seem like, HE was not paying attention and listening to me.  Our conversation appeared to be short and rushed.  I often said to HIM, I tell you about that later. WE will talk later.  My love YOUs were not as frequent or as intense.  I said it in passing-on my way out the door, before I met and talked with my others, while taking care of some “important” business.  HE had become one of the “things” that I multi-tasked.

See, I was trying to get all of these things handled or situated (old school way and word) so that I can REALLY be with HIM.  HE should know or should have known that I truly love HIM.  I was doing those things to make myself better for HIM. Those things would prove that I loved and was true to HIM.  At least, that’s what I told HIM.

HE responded by saying NOTHING!!!! HE said absolutely NOTHING.  NOTHING!!!!!!  NOT A THING!!!! NOTHING!!!!!

NOTHING concerned me.  I was not used to be in any relationship in which NOTHING was said about any, every and something.   The Silence was deafening and killing me at the same time.  HE said NOTHING!!!!  NOTHING!!!! NOTHING!!!!!

NOTHING? GOD. YOU ARE SAYING NOTHING?  WHY AREN’T  YOU TALKING?  I BEGAN TO QUESTION OUR RELATIONSHIP AND HIS LOVE FOR ME (trick of the enemy). SURELY, WITH EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE SHARED, THE THINGS YOU HAVE GIVEN ME AND SAID TO ME BEFORE THIS TIME, SURELY, SURELY, YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

HE STILL SAID NOTHING!!!! GOD SAYING NOTHING WAS SAYING EVERYTHING.  I BEGAN TO REFLECT ON OUR (GOD AND I) TIMES TOGETHER BEFORE I STARTED WORKING ON ME FOR US (GOD AND I). THIS IS WHEN HE REMINDED ME THAT HE HAS ALREADY TOLD AND SHOWN ME HOW TO LOVE HIM AND PLEASE HIM.  I JUST NEEDED TO DO IT.

HE wants and desires my time and undivided attention.  HE wants to know that I am grateful for all that HE has done and IS doing and WILL DO.  HE wants me to acknowledge HIM in ALL of my ways.  HE wants and desires for me to be faithful to please HIM.

He empathically reminded me that……

…Nothing will separate ME from the LOVE of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS…..”

 

Tangey V.

INREALTIME